Probe Thick & Rich

I'm always interested in selling points for lubricants, how they're marketed. I mean, do they boast scent or no scent, flavor or no flavor, silicone, water-soluble, organic, "all natural" (whatever THAT means), with or without glycerin, etc.?

So this product's claim to be "laboratory formulated to mimic the body's own lubrication" intrigued me. Do I want that? Really? Does anyone? I mean, my body's own lubrication--while certainly slippery and delightful in its own way--is not anywhere near as durable as what comes out of a bottle. Granted, it's self-replenishing (if all is going well, anyway), but if limited to one application, it would not hold up nearly as well as the supplementary stuff.

Probe Thick & Rich also claims to use grapefruit seed extract as its preservative. I assume that's geared toward those who are skittish about all those multisyllabic chemical preservatives. Okay, I can understand that. The fewer multisyllabic chemicals, the better.

This product is water-based/water-soluble and latex compatible. It felt a bit thin/runny to me. Strike one. When you squirt it on something--be it a body part or a toy--you'd like it to stay put long enough to get the gooey goodness where it needs to go.

So, my dear partner and I proceeded to put it through its preliminary paces: apply to skin (back of hands), smear around, smell, taste. I was pleased to discover that it is as odorless and tasteless as any lube I've ever sampled. So far, so good. I really don't want products that interfere with oral sex. I'd rather taste the person, y'know?

Label says glycerin is an ingredient, so I won't try it vaginally. No sugars go inside. Why invite infection, eh? Strike two.

I squirted a big dollop into my palm and rubbed my hands together, preparing to do a little massage. When I pulled my hands apart, the lube stretched in hundreds of tiny strings between my palms. Yuck! It was like spider webs. No way in hell was I was putting THAT on my pink parts. STRIKE THREE!!!

This product went straight to the trash. Use at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia