Tenga Squeeze Play

Environmental concerns aside, the concept of disposable sex toys makes a lot of sense, especially masturbators for men. No muss, no fuss, just pop the cap back on when you are done and into the garbage it goes. And the Tenga Squeeze Play, in addition to being one use, is one of the best masturbation toys I have ever tried.

Physically, it resembles a freakishly large tube of toothpaste. Tenga also didn't bother trying to make the opening look anatomical, opting instead for a simple hole. The entire design of the product is very purpose oriented, which is really what men look for when we need to get off solo. It is even prelubricated which makes things VERY convenient. But that is just packaging, the real magic is on the inside.

The inside of the tube is nicely form fitting and lined with tiny knobs to add to the sensation. There is a small hole in the top which easily controls the suction and pressure inside the tube but which also leads to some amusing squishing and farting noises. Overall however, it was still a pretty insignificant distraction. The sensation will never fool you into thinking you are making whoopie to another human being, but it still felt very good and was more than capable of completing its task.

Overall, the Squeeze Play is almost perfect. Almost.

The biggest drawback would be the price. For a disposable item, it should be cheap but the prices I have seen online, although not as much as a Fleshlight, for example, are still much too high for a throw away. Until the price comes down, I am afraid for me anyway, the Tenga Squeeze Play will remain a novelty as opposed to a temporary, but replenished, resident of my toy chest.

~ Maximilian Lagos
www.maxlagos.com

Here's what Babeland has to say:

You’ll be entering (get it?) a whole new realm of masturbation sleeves when you try Tenga Squeeze Play. As soon as you touch the inner ribs and bumps and feel the glorious suction, there’ll be no turning back. Tenga has custom-engineered a line of men’s products based on extensive product testing and feedback from a veritable army of volunteers, so it’s no wonder that this toy provides a solo sexual experience like no other toy we’ve encountered. Your choice of two sizes and how tight you squeeze on the Tenga determines the tightness of the ride. Tenga products are disposable, pre-lubricated, and designed for one-time use.

• Size: 6” x 2”; 7” x 2-1/2” (internal)
• Material: ABS and TPE plastic
• Lube Ingredients: Water, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxyl Ethyl Cellulose, Sodium Polyacrylate, Phenoxyethanol, IPBC, Paraben

Truth or Dare

Maybe it is because we are old. Or maybe it is because we have been together for a million years. Or maybe my wife and I have actually had every conversation a married couple can have. Well, for whatever reason, Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion by Chronicle Books didn't teach us anything new about ourselves or each other. We did end the night having great sex, but I don't think it had much to do with the game.

A couple glasses of wine might have shifted our mood a little bit or made the cutsie-worded Dares easier to get into. For a game dealing with such mature topics, the language used on the cards did not do anything to set a sexy mood... made me actually feel like I was back in grade school, way too nervous to ask my crush to the Friday night dance.

The Truth cards were far more interesting than the Dare. So after a few minutes, we just boxed the Dares and took turns reading each other the Truths. We laughed quite a bit and made up some more silly than sexy answers, both agreeing the Truth side was good but could be even better with a group of people playing and again, several bottles of wine.

I did offer to send the game to a friend who is looking to reconcile with her husband. In a recent conversation, one of her fantasies was revealed to a surprised: "I didn't think you would be into that." It might be just the thing she needs to break the ice and open those lines of communication again. New couples would probably have fun with Truth or Dare, too, loosening inhibitions because "the cards told us to."

Personally, I am going to stick with Strip Poker and Spin The Bottle.

~ Maximilian Lagos
www.maxlagos.com

Here's what Good Vibrations has to say:

Think Truth or Dare went out of the style after High School? Well think again with this stylish and sexy version of an old classic great for couples (or adventurous groups). Explore your inhibitions or share some sexy secrets with the 100 game cards and a roll of the die as you take turns revealing your favorite sex toy or demonstrating your hottest sexual position. The questions are smart and sexy and the dares are really fun. Whether rain or shine, you might want to start spending every day indoors.

6 ¼” x 5 x 1 ¾” box.

Includes 100 game cards, one die, and instructions.

Spartacus Alligator Nipple Clamps

I have never had sensitive nipples. Gentle rubbing feels okay, but any real amount of pressure and I just stop feeling altogether. It didn’t even really hurt when I got my left one pierced.

But, I LOVE playing with other people’s nipples. They are a primary target for my tongue, fingers, and clothespins on lovers and playmates. So, the chance to play with a set of Spartacus Alligator Nipple Clamps was pretty exciting.

My wife was eager to try them too, but when I stalked across the bedroom floor, opening and closing the alligator-style clips like hungry little metal mouths, she rolled over onto her belly and wouldn’t let me anywhere near The Girls. Her nipples are oversensitive on the best of days, and the thought of the chained clamps biting down on her tender bits was making them hide in the mattress.

Sadly, her instincts were correct. To keep the clamps with their rubber coated teeth actually on her nipples, they had to be tightened well past her comfort point. Anything less and they would fall off with the slightest movement. And there was NO way we were taking off the rubber coating and subjecting ourselves to the razor-sharp teeth.

They were a bit pinchy even on my small, numb nubbins but they did hold better on mine than hers. The set screw used to hold the clips open didn’t want to budge under pressure, so adjustment meant taking them off, backing the screw off, and clamping them back on… usually to have them fall off again.

If you enjoy nipple torture and have a bit of experience, you may like the Spartacus Alligator Nipple Clamps. I will bring them to my next fetish party and use them mercilessly on my date for the evening. But if you are new to clamps, these may be more of a frustration than a fantasy.

~ Maximilian Lagos
www.maxlagos.com

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Enjoy a tantalizing pinch on your nipples, labia, or anywhere else with the sturdy, adjustable Crocodile Clamps. The slender tips deliver localized pressure, and the screw allows you to adjust the pressure with one hand tied behind your back (or otherwise occupied!). Go as light or as tight as you choose – you’ll be surprised at how pleasurable and intoxicating the sensation can be when you’re in the heat of the moment. Take nipple play to a whole new level with this Babeland classic.

* Size: 17” (LOA)
* Material: Metal and soft plastic

Floggers in Time Magazine?

You could've knocked me over with a feather when I saw the article. I guess sex toys have finally reached mainstream media, even if the hook was environmental.

Check it out. :-)

peace and passion,

~ Alessia

Seven Minutes in Heaven

“Reality porn is coming out of the closet in this first ever gonzo queer film.”

That's what the website says. I won't argue with the reality part, 'cause it doesn't appear there's much scripting, but gonzo? I wouldn't call it gonzo. Gonzo, to me, means there's nothing other than the sex of interest. This is more like documentary porn -- a la Comstock Films (but more hedonistic and minus the love). Each of the cast speaks to the camera for a few seconds, sharing their experiences or expectations. I truly enjoyed this aspect... and would've enjoyed it even more if I didn't have to struggle to hear what they were saying. (The sound, not to put too fine a point on it, sucked. And the soundtrack wasn't much better. Seems that sound -- other than the moaning and grunting -- isn't high on the priority list of production values for porn. Pity.)

Not quite sure where the title came from unless it's just an extension of the two party games (Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle) briefly played on screen. The subtitle "Coming Out" is also misleading. A couple of the women say it's their first experience with a woman and their first experience on camera. That's a cherry-popper, not a coming out.

The bodies aren't plastic or perfect, which is wonderful. Plastic/perfect is the main reason I just can't embrace traditional porn. It fucks with my feelings about my own body -- and I struggle with that quite enough with my clothes ON. I don't need it shoved in my face when I'm naked.

So, the sex scenes? They're... interesting. Some are kinda hot. Some, I suppose, would find certain elements kinky or transgressive. The orgasms appear to be genuine, too. Perhaps I'm jaded, but when you can sit in bed with your partner and watch other people having sex for almost 2 hours without it resulting in your own uncontrollable mattress aerobics... well, the sex you're watching is just not THAT hot. I mean, yeah,  it turned me on. And, yeah, we played... but after we finished watching, not during. Maybe that just makes me a conscientious reviewer. Ya think?

Bottom line: I don't regret the time I spent watching this film, but it's not one I'm likely to re-watch, either. As always, YMMV.

peace and passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Good Releasing has to say:

Reality porn is coming out of the closet in this first ever gonzo queer film. Award-winning director Courtney Trouble invites 7 diverse, fresh-faced performers to a kinky slumber-party for fun and games… only tonight there are no rules, no limits and no bedtime! The amateur cast picks their own partners, their own sex toys and their own ways of getting off. Spin the Bottle inspires an unscripted fuck-fest and first-time fantasies come true during a Truth or Dare strap-on sex scene. With honest video confessions, authentic orgasms and natural bodies, Seven Minutes in Heaven is the real queer deal.

P Style

When I saw this product listed for review, I pounced on it like a fat kid hits cake. Ladies, how many times have you stopped at a seedy-looking gas station with a near-bursting bladder only to discover a disgusting restroom? I mean, you don't even want to wash your hands in the sink much less put your sweet pink parts in the vicinity of the commode!

The package says...

Easy to use while clothed

Eliminates the need for T.P.

Reusable & simple to clean

Compact & easy to carry

And I'd agree with 62.5% of these claims. First, being the clean freak that I am, I don't think anything will ever eliminate the need to WIPE (and not merely with toilet tissue). I want to be in delightfully lickable condition 24/7. Don't you? The half-agreement is for the "easy to use while clothed" statement. It *IS* easy to use. However, "while clothed" is pushing it.

Yes, I believe it's entirely possible to develop a comfort & skill level with the P Style that would enable it to be used through one's open fly. I just don't see myself needing to use it often enough to achieve that level of proficiency. So, I drop trough.

I don't know about you, but I never mastered the whole squatting thing. By the time I relax enough to let things... um... flow, my thighs are trembling and a sheen of sweat is coating my brow. It's that level of proficiency thing again. I don't need to squat-and-pee often enough to become a pro.

As for the P Style, I tested it 3 times -- in 3 different situations -- before penning judgment. The first time, it took a loooooooooong time before I could relax enough to pee. Ever squatted behind a tree on a camping trip while mosquitos bit your ass waiting for your muscles to cooperate?  Same thing. It was the I-don't-want-to-piss-on-myself reflex. Once things started moving, it was a fascinating experience. Surreal, almost.

The second time, I'd had a couple drinks (as well as the previous confidence-building experience), and I got right to it. Um, too much so. Apparently, enthusiastic urination exceeds the capacity of its channel... and I gave too much too fast. Okay, messy lesson learned.

Third time's the charm. It was this trial that convinced me that utter proficiency is not only possible, but probable with semi-regular use. I think the P Style could be a wonderful gadget for many applications: camping, nasty public restrooms, physical impairments.  My P Style is going into the glove compartment of my car, and when I need it, I'm going to be damned glad it's there!

Until next time...

peace and passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Anyone who’d like to pee standing up (and that’s a whole lot of people!) will find the P Style useful. This compact and convenient “Stand To Pee” device, or STP, works perfectly for outdoor recreation and work, travel, folks with physical restrictions, female-to-male transsexuals, people who’ve had surgery that interferes with their ability to pee standing up, men with hypospadias… basically, anyone who wants to pee standing up, but whose anatomy or circumstance has kept them from doing so! It can be used through an open zipper with the user fully clothed, and the back edge can be used in place of toilet paper. Best of all, it’s made from nonporous hard plastic, so it’s easy to clean, completely reusable, and long-lasting. Color may vary.

• Size: 7-1/2” x 1-1/2” x 3/4"
• Material: Hard plastic
  

G-Twist Vibe

The first full day of football season provided an ideal time for toy testing, since I'm not a fan -- and my partner is. I just wish I had a better report on this product.  Alas, the one received for review was inoperable. I tried several different sets of batteries in every permutation to no avail. Therefore, this review will simply deal with the product as a dildo as opposed to a vibrator. I will assume that the strength of the vibration is similar (if not identical) to another Fun Factory product, The Boss, which I reviewed here some time ago.

The G-Twist is like The Boss in terms of its battery compartment and controls. I seriously dislike this aspect of its design. Not only is it confusing (and completely lacking "How To" instructions), it is physically difficult to open. If you have any impairment in finger/grip strength, forget about it!

It's longer and girthier than it appears in the pictures, but not uncomfortably so with appropriate lubrication.

Where the G-Twist differs is its ridges. While I didn't really care for the little ones along its length, the bigger, clit-bumping ridge certainly hits the sweet spot. There's enough flexibility in the silicone shaft to bend it to provide dual stimulation -- inside and out. It would've been nice to do so with vibration, but... oh, well.

Until next time...

peace and passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Good Vibrations has to say:

This Good Vibes staff-designed toy embodies a virtual wish list of nearly all the vibrator features we love. It's got a G-spot curve; substantial-yet-subtle texture along the shaft; a strategically placed clit ridge; water-resistant design; a top-quality, velvety smooth silicone body; reliable, quiet motor and a convenient ergonomic dial at the base to control the variable-speed vibrations. And oh yeah, it's one good-looking toy.

• 6 long, 1 1/2 in diameter.
• Uses two AA batteries (included).
• Now available in Black and Raspberry, as well as our classic colors Dark blue, Purple, Baby blue, or Candy Pink.
• Volume: 2; Intensity: 3.
• Care and Cleaning: This nonporous vibrator can be washed with a mild soap and water. It can be immersed in water for ease of cleaning, but be careful to keep the battery compartment closed and dry.