Monday, December 22, 2008

Skindecent Elite Massage Candle

Knowing my penchant for peppermint, a very dear friend with a serious fetish for bath products gave me this Skindecent Elite Massage Candle to review. While not a "sex toy" per se, it is definitely a sensory indulgence.

A massage candle, you say? Does not compute. We're not talking about wax play here. We're talking about touch, about massage. While there is beeswax in this candle, it also contains soy oil and shea butter -- both of which are wonderful emollients. I thought the wax would leave a heavy film on my skin, but it really didn't. Yes, I could tell there was a thin layer there, but it just seemed to lock in the softness -- which is a definitely plus during the chapped skin season.

My candle was scented with peppermint/spearmint essential oils. When ordering, however, you can specify the desired fragrance. There are hundreds from which to choose. You can smell like a flower or like a decadent dessert or like a designer perfume. Personally, I prefer to smell like something edible.

Simply light the candle, and when it softens, scoop a little into your palm and rub on the body part in need of relaxation. (Note: I'm very sensitized to oils like peppermint and cinnamon. It you're not, do not put this on delicate tissue -- like labia. I don't recommend its use internally at all. This is NOT a lubricant for anything other than external massage.)

It felt absolutely divine while being rubbed into my skin. My masseuse said that he felt it went from too-hot liquid to too-solid too quickly, but I sure didn't notice that. The heat of the melted wax & oils worked a long day's stress from my back, and the tingle-chill of the mints provided a delicious contrast. The scent cleared my head, and I was blissfully off to sleep.

I feared the residue would leave a greasy stain on the sheets, but there was no evidence of such in the morning. My back, however, still felt wonderfully smooth and soft. Being the skin slut that I am, I'll definitely be checking out Skindecent's other products.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dynamic Duo

Dynamic DuoA Toys for Tarts guest review:

From the first sight, I knew this wasn’t just an ordinary bullet duo. It’s cool green clear plastic controller with the two silver bullets has one thinking “alien probes” and all the fun those thoughts inspire. Loading up the toy with batteries, I dialed on the controller and the bullet leaped to command, a fun powerful vibration which had it dancing across my hand, bed and my partner’s chest. It sent a shiver of excitement through me as my partner dangled the bullet by the cord and watched it dance around my nipples. He then had the other sliding down to my pussy and had me squirming all over from the powerful vibrations. With one in my pussy and one swirling around my nipples, I was soon moaning in pleasure. The controller goes from a powerful vibe to a clit numbing sensation. The dial controls don’t give you a pulse option but the power is there to stimulate. This isn't a device you can use to wear to the office because the buzzing could have someone wondering what is happening.

~ One Lusty Wench

Here's what Babeland has to say about the Dynamic Duo:

Fighting with your partner over who gets to go first? Can’t decide whether you like a throbbing pulse or a rapid buzz? The Dynamic Duo swoops in and saves the day: separate variable-speed control dials mean you can tickle two erogenous zones at the same time, thrill to two different levels of sensation, or get off at the same time as your partner. And separate jacks mean the 37-1/2” cords stretch further, making it even easier to hit just the right spots.

  • Size: Bullet: 2-1/4” x 1” controller: 3” x 5”
  • Material: Silver plastic
  • Batteries: Four AA

Friday, December 12, 2008

Butterfly Blogging

Babeland Affiliate for Butterfly TemptressSeveral sex toy vendors are picking up the fundraising ball dropped by EdenFantasys and sponsoring benefits of some sort for Butterfly Temptress, who is battling cervical cancer. One of our absolute favorite stores, Babeland, is on board in a big way.

Toys for Tarts is one of several review sites that has agreed to donate its December Babeland affiliate revenues to the Butterfly Temptress to help defray her medical expenses. So, please do your holiday toy shopping through our links or the links of the other participants!

In addition, on January 1st, Toys for Tarts will have a drawing for the winner's choice of one of the following Babeland products:
  • Elastomer Rabbit Habit Vibrator
    A new edition of the Vibratex Rabbit vibrator that was made famous on Sex and the City!
    We’re thrilled to be able to offer this latex-free edition of Vibratex’s famous Rabbit Habit vibrator. Functionally similar to the original Rabbit Habit, this model is sheathed in 100% premium Elastomer, a high-quality material that is both latex and phthalate free but still incredibly soft. The vibrating bunny portion of this model's updated design is angled closer to the shaft for more direct clit contact, and the famous pearls have been redesigned to rotate more consistently than the tumbling pearls of the original. While the glittery lavender shaft twirls for G-spot stimulation, the rabbit ears flutter along the clitoris and the "pearls" stimulate the sensitive opening of the vagina. Separate variable speed controls power each of the two components. The elastomer version of the classic Rabbit Habit is one of the Babeland All Stars!

  • Pink Kink Kit
    Bondage beginner? You’ll find sugar and spice and everything naughty in our super-sexy, non-intimidating Pink Kink Kit, making bondage affordable, fashionable and very appealing. An innocent pink mesh bag holds a heart-emblazoned, comfortable leather blindfold, an adorable pink leather 11” whip with a teasing sting, and a snap-to-fit leather collar that reads SEXY (as if it weren’t obvious!). The blindfold is held in place with a comfortable, adjustable elastic band, and the whip includes a D-ring so you can dangle it anywhere. Pink and White leather. Comes in a reusable see-through gift bag.

  • I Rub My Ducky
    Why won't Ernie get out of the bath? He's got the I Rub My Duckie vibrator! This floating friend's got more than just sweet blue eyes and an irresistible smile. Give Duckie a squeeze and suddenly you've got a vibrating pleasure pal who makes bath time lots more fun. Round head, pointed tail and nubby beak offer a variety of contact textures to choose from. Waterproof Duckie's vibrations are nearly silent, too, so he's discreet as he is adorable. Made of latex-free and phthalate-free PVC. Now has three modes of vibration!
To enter, simply make any purchase from Babeland between now & December 31, 2008 (midnight ET) and forward a copy of your order confirmation email to toys-for-tarts [at] eroticanthology [dot] com -- OR -- write a review (500 words minimum) of any Babeland product to be posted here on the Toys for Tarts blog & email it to toys-for-tarts [at] eroticanthology [dot] com.

peace & passion ... and Happy Holidays to y'all from the Toys for Tarts review team!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Man's Ruin

Man's Ruin DVDWhen I ordered this DVD, I expected something different, and I sure as hell got it. This has to be the strangest porn flick I've ever seen. The title makes no sense whatsoever, since no one but the damsel in unconvincing distress is facing ruin -- lest you count all our immortal porn-consuming souls, I suppose.

Does it have a plot? Well, yeah. The protagonist -- played by Melodie Gore -- is sucked into a video game where she must rescue Go-Go from sexual torture (a la fucking machine wielded by a muttering dominatrix with a riding crop and a shock wand). In the process, she travels through five game venues featuring different sexual scenarios: a M/F medical-shaving-foot fetish scene with a semen-collecting squid (I kid you not); a disturbingly vanilla M/F tryst in "Satan's" lair; a F/F and F/F/F scene in a 70s nightclub that proved to be the most titillating (no pun intended) of the five, perhaps because it left the smeared lipstick & mascara "ravaged" look of the prior two scenes behind; an utterly forgettable M/F fuck that started out interestingly enough (with the woman in bridle and prancing like a pony) and ended with the typical cum-on-the-tramp-stamp money shot; and the finale F/F sadism in which Go-Go is smacked around, shocked, and motor-skewered by a modest-sized dildo until our heroine arrives to "save" her by simply... well, showing up. As damsels in distress go, Princess Toadstool had more spunk. Go-Go is a quivering, whimpering pile of skin & bones that evoked no sympathy from this viewer beyond wanting to provide her with a blanket and a sandwich.

Piercings and tattoos abound. The women are all attractive, but far from perfect (which is a plus in my book). The men have impressive physiques, but I commented on their muscular legs & abs more often than their equipment. Satan, especially, was a hard-working stud who looked rather fine when beaded with sweat.

The film aims for artsy with non-traditional music, strange lighting, heavy anime influences, and funky camera angles, but hits the humorous mark more often. (I mean, how often do corn dogs appear in porn flicks? Seriously.) If you want something to wank to, look elsewhere. If you want a few belly laughs, some odd (but far from extreme, once you excuse the squid) fetish play, and extreme close-ups of P-V penetration (no P-A) that go on and on and yawn, look no further. This is your flick.

When all was said and done, my partner -- who is a serious DVD collector -- said, "Who can we give this to?" I suppose, someday, it could become a cult classic, but until then, it's simply a novelty item.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

Here's what Babeland, who graciously provided the DVD for review, has to say:

Man's Ruin is an adult DVD for the porn specialist who is looking for a multi-player, multi-level game that's easy to beat, and beat off to! OK, so it's not really a video game, but it sure plays like one! Man's Ruin is a cinematic super-charged world of sexual deviancy, fetishism, and perversions--with alt porn star Melodie Gore as a superstar hero on a mission laden with sexual obstacles like tattooed ladies, hard cocks, and bondage devices. From front to back, you'll find Man's Ruin a fully artistic and explicit kinky film, complete with medical play, all-girl threesomes, sex and submission, and high-end fetish domination. Get out your joysticks!

  • Company: Vivid
  • Released: 2007
  • Length: 113 minutes
  • Director: Winkytiki
  • Noteworthy Stars: Stoya, Justine Joli, Claire Adams