Bootie

The Bootie (by Fun Factory) is a 100% silicone, velvety textured, creatively shaped butt plug that provides comfortable stimulation for the anal beginner. The head is slightly larger than a man’s thumb, while the shaft is about as thin as a pinky finger. Curving slightly in a “come here” gesture, the Bootie’s shape and flexibility can make it a bit tricky to insert the first time. It is very comfortable to wear for play, but the larger safety bottom is uncomfortable to sit upon, making it less than ideal for longer term wear.

Touted as delivering “rapturous pleasure” by the manufacturer, this reviewer was not rewarded with such outstanding responses. The comfortable flexibility minimized the stimulation to the prostate as compared to such products as the Aneros or manual self-stimulation. There are better prostate toys on the market, but as a basic butt plug for safe play, the Bootie delivers in spades.

~ A.B. Guye

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Shake your booty all night long with the beginner-friendly Bootie anal plug. Insertion is easy thanks to the firm, tapered tip; and once in place, the pliable neck, tapered base and soft silicone make wearing the Bootie all pleasure. The curved base helps ‘rock’ the Bootie for gentle prostate stimulation, and squeezing the resilient shaft with anal muscles amps up the sensation. It's bootie-licious! Brought to you by Fun Factory. Color may vary. For a discount, check out the Bootie Plug & Sliquid Sassy Booty Formula Combo.

• Size: 2-1/2” x 1”
• Material: Silicone

The Boss

The Boss was awaiting my return from the Romantic Times BookLovers Convention in Orlando. Great, I thought! A Fun Factory exclusive from Babeland. An orgasmic win-win!

The first thing I noticed was that it was packaged in a Babeland box with ZERO instructions on how to open the battery compartment and insert the AA batteries. Fail. I had to go to the Fun Factory website, find a similar product, and download its PDF user guide in order to figure it out -- because it is NOT obvious. For a high-end ($58) product, that's damned near unforgivable.

I got over that annoyance and moved on to the fun part...

Given its girth, I tested this toy along with Sliquid Organics Silk (reviewed separately).

The Boss I received is black & grey, not the (seemingly) requisite sex-toy-purple. It's a bit longer AND girthier than I gathered from the photos. Perhaps a visual is in order. See how it stacks up to my Hitachi? The Boss is a big pleasure puppy. I've known guys this big, but they're few & far between (and quite often lousy lovers, thinking their impressive equipment is all they need to please a partner). It's heavy, too. The shaft is silicone and somewhat floppy--kinda like an 80% erection. It'll go in without bending, but there's more flexibility there than with a raging boner.

The end cap is rigid with a knob that turns to adjust the strength of the vibration. It's not easy to manipulate when slippery-wet, but it's not likely to be changed unintentionally, either. Even at its highest setting, the vibration is nothing to write home about, but coupled with the aforementioned girthiness, it gets the job done in relatively short order.

As a g-spot toy, I didn't appreciate it. I found that I enjoyed The Boss externally as much as, perhaps more than, inserted. The vibrations, while strongest at the base of the shaft, are well conducted throughout its length. Thus, I was able to stimulate myself from bow to stern without even moving the toy. It wasn't easy to grip this way, especially when lubed, but movement wasn't absolutely necessary to be effective.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Let Babeland be The Boss, with our exclusive new Fun Factory vibrator. This is the G-spot vibrator we have always dreamed of letting take control! Finally a realistically-shaped silicone insertable vibrator with a strong, localized internal buzz. We wanted The Boss to be hefty (check), soft silicone (yep), and with a sweet tilt just right for the G-spot (it is!). Add in the shower-friendly splashproof shell and vibrant Fun Factory colors, and you’ve got a toy which will put you in your place and show you who's The Boss, every time! Color may vary. Available only at Babeland!

• Size: 8-3/4” x 1-3/5”
• Material: Silicone
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Two AA

Bloomy

I typically adore Fun Factory products. They're funky, irreverent, yet serious in their intent to deliver pleasure. And they're 100% silicone, which makes cleanup simpler. So, it was with great anticipation that I requested Bloomy to review.

As a butt toy, which is how Bloomy is primarily marketed, this product fulfills its mission admirably. It's not too big and not too small. It's not too smooth and not too bumpy. It's not too rigid and not too floppy for the butt. Its "tongue" provides perfectly placed perineal stimulation, especially with a bit of lubricant (natural or otherwise). And it's got an ideal finger-ring handle for solo play or for the convenience of a partner who multi-tasks (as all good partners should).

Bloomy can also be used vaginally. (As always, sterilize toys before and after use -- especially when previously used anally. Silicone can be boiled, bleached, or put in the dishwasher. Hibiclens is another option. Can't be TOO careful. Use a condom over toys when shared or when in doubt of their cleanliness.) Bloomy is a bit too floppy for my tastes as a vaginal toy, but it does connect well with both g-spot and clitoris, and its smooth surface feels quite yummy. Some foks add an egg vibrator in the finger ring (which is too big for a standard bullet), but that does remove the functionality of the ring as a grip. I didn't care for that approach vaginally or anally.

My recommendation? Buy Bloomy for your anal arsenal. If it happens to also trip your (or your partner's) pussy triggers, all the better.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

The only thing better than a beautiful sex toy is a beautiful sex toy with multiple functions, and the Bloomy leads the pack in both categories. Pliable, body-friendly silicone loops and swirls into a delicate bloom shape that’s perfect for G-spot or prostate stimulation. Try it as a dildo, a PC muscle exerciser, or a butt plug... it might even do the grocery shopping if you’re nice to it. Seriously, we’re head-over-heels for this versatile, gorgeously designed toy from Fun Factory.

• Size: 3-1/4” x 1-1/3”
• Material: Silicone

Tantus Ripple

Any product from Tantus is worth its weight in orgasms, and the Ripple is no exception. While I didn't find it adequate as a standalone, this little silicone dildo is absolutely perfect as an anal adjunct during other activities.

It's a bit short for a harness, in my opinion, 'cause even if the "insertable length" is adequate, there's the booty to consider. In a harness, the entire insertable length is not gonna make it through the back door. Manual use, however, is delightful. Not so big that it draws all your attention. Not so small that you can forget about its presence. Just right.

And, for those couples wanting to introduce anal play for him, this product is totally non-threatening. Hell, it's almost cute. Cleanup's a breeze with 100% silicone, too!

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia Brio

Here's what EdenFantasys has to say:

The small Ripple is the ideal toy to safely begin anal exploration. Its graduated design is the perfect starter size (smaller than a finger tip to start, and about an inch across at its widest bulb). Completely flexible and suitable for harness use. Made of 100% medical grade quality silicone, the Ripple plug is flexible, hypoallergenic and warms to the body. Toy is boilable, bleachable in a 10% solution and dishwasher safe.

Product code: TAN0888
Type: Probe
Texture: Smooth
Care and cleaning: Dishwasher safe / Boilable / Bleachable
Safety features: Non-porous / Phthalates free / Hypo-allergenic / Latex free
Material: Silicone
Length: 5 1/4"
Insertable length: 4 3/4"
Circumference: 3"
Diameter: 1"
Weight: 0.3 lb
Special Features: Hypoallergenic

We-vibe

There are so many ways this little, purple pleaser can be used that a conscientious toy reviewer could spend months trying (and re-trying) them in order to present the intrepid, orgasm-seeking consumer with a comprehensive evaluation. Eventually, however, the review simply must be written so that the products piling up in the corner, patiently awaiting their turn, can have their chance at my... well, you know.

If Toys for Tarts' review doesn't answer all your burning questions, please leave a comment. We'll do our bestest to answer or at least point you in the direction of the answer. Realize, of course, that any questions might result in this reviewer disappearing for days (or weeks) in order to thoroughly research *ahem* the answer. There are also other reviews--out there in the jungles of cyberspace--to peruse. Clean Sheets, for example, posted his-n-hers critiques.

Okay, so it looks like a cross between new-age salad tongs and a mouth guard. (I like funky stuff.) What you can't tell from the photographs (and the We-vibe website has lots of them from all angles) is that its surface is SOFT and that its neck is really flexible.

The We-vibe is primarily designed to be used during penetrative vaginal sex--be that with human or inanimate object or some combination of the two. The (slightly) smaller end is inserted, while the larger end rests against the clitoris. It stays put quite well in all positions tested--especially missionary & on all fours--even with lots of lubrication (be it the natural variety or the type that comes from the industrial-sized pump dispenser on your nightstand). [REMINDER: Don't use silicone lubes with silicone toys.] Takes a We-bit (*snerk* Aren't I punny?) more coordination when on top, but once you put your quarter in the slot and your bronco starts bucking, you're good for the duration of the ride.

It's rechargeable, which means that even though it's purple (visually), it's green (environmentally). That purple is like a thick, silicone wet suit (appropriately) for the moving parts. Two vibrating nodes. One in each end. Two stronger-than-typical-bullet-vibe, quieter-than-typical-bullet-vibe nodes.

The single, 3-position, high-off-low toggle switch (which controls both ends) is hidden beneath that sheath, too. There are just a couple, cute little dimples on the clit end to indicate its location. You have to feel around for it, but--just like you have to feel around for a g-spot--you'll know when you find it. Trust me.

Same for the power jack. Another dimple, just below the power dimples. A tiny slit of a nose to their rounder eyes. At first I was hesitant to "pierce" the purple with the plug, but it plunged right in there and sealed right back up when withdrawn. Nifty!

The instructions say it cannot be overcharged and recommend keeping it plugged in so it'll have a full charge whenever you're ready to play. In testing, a single charge lasted long enough to accomplish its mission in three separate, lengthy experiments before showing any signs of fatigue. (That's more than I can say for most partners I've known.)

The storage case looks so much like a typical eyeglass case in size and shape that no one would give it a second glance if you left it on your kitchen counter--not that I expect to be using it in the kitchen, mind you. (On second thought, my kitchen island does look rather inviting.)

So, in the final analysis, is this purple pleasure puppy worth its hefty price tag? Yeah, I think so. If you give it a try, please let us know what YOU think!

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

~ ~ ~

Here's what EdenFantasys has to say:

This unique discreet vibrator is crafted in premium silicone and designed for hands-free pleasure. Rechargeable and phthalate-free, the body friendly material and powerful vibrations will arouse and delight.

Two vibrating nodes purr simultaneously at low or high speed on each end of this sex toy. The We-vibe has a compact body about the size of a playing card, with ribbed textures on the inside to stimulate. The tip with the control button in it rests on the clitoris, while the thinner tip slides inside the vagina to massage the G-spot.br>
A thin jack simply slides into a small hole in the front to recharge the We-vibe. Two dimples beside the charging port accent the internal power switch, which can be moved left for high speed and right for low. High speed is moderately quiet, while low speed is very quiet, making this a great toy for a little discreet fun.br>
Your We-vibe unit comes with a black and purple hinged case and a charging plug. It should be used only with water based lubricants, and can not be submerged in water. Only the thinner tip should be inserted.

• Type: G-spot and clitoral vibrator
• Texture: Ribbed
• Control type: Power switch
• Clitoral attachment shape: Other
• Functions: Vibrating
• Safety features: Non-porous / Phthalates free
• Powered By: Rechargeable
• Material: Silicone
• Color: Purple
• Length: 3"
• Insertable length: 3"
• Circumference: 3"
• Diameter: 1"
• Weight: 0.1 lb
• Special Features: Multispeed

Buzz 1

Sometimes, amidst all the high-tech orgasmic gadgetry, you just want something sleek and simple. Something that doesn't require mental gymnastics to decipher. Something that cannot be confused with a marine mammal or a pair of miniature purple salad tongs (tongs for which a Toys for Tarts review is coming soon, by the way). Something that won't make your boyfriend's eyes pop out when you slip it into your harness.

Enter *ahem* Buzz 1. This utilitarian, silicone shaft by Tantus, makers of the Feeldoe, is elegant in its functional simplicity--much like the organ after which it was patterned (albeit in a funner color). Available in purple (which is, like, mandatory for today's objet d'fuck), black (which is incredibly sexy in a black leather Jaguar harness), and pink (for MaryKay sales reps).

This product, to my jaded way of thinking, is not a solo toy--like the Hitachi, for example. By that, I mean that using it--and it alone--is like having a scoop of plain vanilla ice cream. Undoubtedly good, but not quite enough to satisfy. It needs something to accentuate its deliciousness. Like a harness. A harness that puts that delightful little bullet vibe in contact with your clit while the smoooooooth shaft glides in and out of your partner. Or, perhaps, if playing alone, a pair of vibrating nipple clamps.

I recommend that every arsenal consist of a basic model like the Buzz 1. Shop around online, though. Prices at the sites I checked varied by as much as $15. And don't forget to pick up the coupon codes we've collected to save a few bucks.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland, who graciously provided the product, has to say:

Smooth, bright and penetrating, this is the family of vibrating silicone dildos our customers have been asking for! Forget about ungainly battery packs, the Buzz 1 comes with a small Zippy Vibe that nestles in the base of the dildo and generates sweet vibration. Great for those looking for a shorter strap-on dildo, this modest sized dildo with semi-realistic head is harness compatible with a 1-1/2" O-ring. Color may vary. Please refer to our return policy for this product.

• Size: 6" x 1-1/4"
• Material: Silicone
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Three watch batteries (included)

Pleasure Tops

Undoubtedly hoping to capture some of the more frugal shoppers coveting the more expensive (and, apparently, much more effective) Cone, this Doc Johnson product leaves a lot to be desired. I do applaud the manufacturer's move toward phthalate-free products with this silicone toy, though.

It's cute and soft and pink, and it certainly sounded as if it would deliver a nice vibration from its two AAA batteries, but the tactile reality didn't live up to its auditory promise.

While I could straddle it without difficulty, I'm very flexible. If you can't do a side split comfortably, don't purchase this toy intending to lower yourself onto it like you're riding a partner. You'll be seriously disappointed. Invest a bit more in a Rock Chick or suction a Woody to one of those big exercise balls if you want to ride. Those toys offer greater flexibility. There's just not a helluva lot of options with this little pink puppy.

However, if you're limber and can get off easily with an average bullet vibe, this might be a good choice for you.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Straddle the cone-shaped body of the Pleasure Top vibe and your hands are free to seek other pleasures! Slide down the shaft—the lower you go, the greater the pressure and sensation from two vibrators located in the shaft and spout, allowing you to build depth, width, vibration sensation and pressure on the clit or perineum. Tilt toward the spout for maximum effect or try it on your back or belly first in order to discover how your body responds best. The Pleasure Tops is waterproof, phthalate-free and cushy enough to respond to a PC squeeze. Both vibrators controlled by one multi-speed dial.

• Size: 2-1/2” x 1-1/5”
• Material: Silicone

Delight

My partner took one look at this cordless, rechargeable, silicone & plastic Fun Factory product and dubbed it Shamu. And judging from the--Wait for it!--whale of a good time I had testing it, I'd have to agree. Shamu, it is.

The fact that I got all hot & bothered merely doing a Google image search for a picture of its namesake is an indicator of this toy's effectiveness. I now have a fetish for marine mammals thanks to this product. It is--by far--the most effective dual-stimulating g-spot/clitoral vibrator I've tested TO DATE. (Yes, toy vendors/manufacturers, that IS a gauntlet.)

The design is ingenious, the curves perfectly formed. Every push pulls and every pull pushes. It's like an orgasmic teeter-totter without the splinters.

The storage case/charger is discreet enough to leave on your nightstand (or coffee table) without drawing attention. The toy itself is very aesthetically pleasing, and if your toddler happens to snatch (no pun intended) it and plunk it on the dinner table along with GI John and Caribou Barbie, no one will bat an eyelash.

The controls--lit by glowing red LEDs--are easily visible in the dark and positioned such that they're readily accessible without being prone to inadvertent change. There are multiple levels of vibration. I counted 9 levels of steady vibrations and 3 pulsing speeds, and it's relatively quiet-ish. I really couldn't hear it over my whale-song modulating moaning. *eep* I noticed no power loss during a prolonged dive, either.

I believe I just had a mini-gasm simply thinking about this toy in conjunction with anal sex. Yeah, it's expensive... but, great-killer-marine-mammals Batman!, it's worth every wet cent.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Invite Delight into your bedroom, with this beautifully-sculpted new vibrator. Designed to please the body as well as the eyes, the Delight practically guides itself to your favorite pleasure points, surrounding your G-spot or clitoris with powerful sensations. The Delight recharges easily while sitting in its Babeland-branded carrying case, and is available in three gorgeous colors. From the makers of our bestselling line of silicone vibrators, this Fun Factory toy also features 32 different vibration options, plus an ultra-ergonomic handle. Water-resistant. Constructed of water-resistant plastic and silicone. Delight is one of the Babeland All Stars! Please refer to our return policy for this product.

• Size: 4" x 1-3/4" (insertable)
• Material: Silicone and plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Recharges in case

And here's what the manufacturer's website reveals:

With »Delight« you will enter a new universe of lust!

This new vibrator combines exterior stimulation with simultaneous insertable function.

It is convincing, not only due to its breathtaking looks, but also because it combines precious elegance with fabulous functionality.

The small and estethic sculpture comes with a slightly bent tip for G-Spot stimulation. A little knob that is placed on the silicone part of »Delight« will – intensified with vibration - excite for extra pleasures.

1. The curl is held with two fingers.
2. Illuminated controls are easy to operate with one's thumb.
3. An extra bump stimulates clitoris
4. Made from 100% medical grade silicone, hook tickles the G-Spot.
5. Sides made from smooth, shiny, skin-friendly plastic.
6. Carrying case: Is both a travel box and recharger.

Bandito

I heart Fun Factory products. They're always a bit unusual, which appeals to the eclectic eroticist in me. Even when the product doesn't really work for me, I still admire its looks and the creativity behind its design. I especially like that Fun Factory doesn't insist upon making a dildo look precisely like a penis. While the male organ is delightful in so many ways, not all lesbians care to be reminded of such during sex. Fun Factory makes dicks that aren't exactly like dicks for chicks that like un-dick-like dicks. Take Bandito, for example. Sure, the silicone dildo is phallic. It's undoubtedly intended for very dick-like uses. However, it's also intriguingly un-dick-like in a futuristic kinda sci-fi tentacle way. I think artistic sex toys are just damned spiffy.

And, even if one is enamored of the male organ, which--I'll readily admit--I am, that's not to say that it's not enjoyable to have a little added up-curve to one's silicone shaft. Or, if you happen to be pegging, to spin that sucker around in the harness and make the up-curve into a down-curve to better hit the p-spot. Just can't DO that with a real dick, y'know. Well, you could spin the whole guy around, but we're not talking about zero-gravity sex... yet.

Last week, I reviewed a similar product: Vixen Creations' Woody. It's the glittery, more dick-like faux dick over there on the right. As you can see, both have the concave base that serves to suction the dildo to any smooth surface. I had to fidget with Bandito a bit to get it firmly affixed, but neither product lost its grip on my shower wall until I pried it loose after the hot water ran out.

The angle of the photo makes it look as if Bandito is larger, but in reality, Woody is slightly longer and slightly thicker. The only difference I could feel, though, was Bandito's yummy extra up-curve. Both got the job done in roughly the same amount of time. (I don't keep a stopwatch handy when toy testing, sorry.)

Like Woody, Bandito fits my favorite harness beautifully. As singles go, these comparably-priced toys are both solo and strap-on winners.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Eden Fantasys, who graciously provided the Bandito for review, says:

Indulge in silicone fantasy with this artistically designed dildo. Swirling patterns are raised from the surface, giving a dual-texture feel to this pliable sensual toy.

Curved in a gentle arc, the design helps stimulate the G-spot with its smooth tip. A unique three-lobed base is ideal for harness play, and sits very comfortably in the hand for thrusting when used on a partner. A concave shape on the bottom gives it a suction-cup quality for solo play.

Made of soft 100% silicone, the Bandito can be fully sterilized by boiling in water for a few minutes, or a quick soak in a 10% bleach solution. Silicone warms to body temperature, is hygienic, and perfect for those with sensitivity to materials like jelly.

• Product code: FUN24308
• Type: Strap-on dildo
• Texture: Swirled
• Care and cleaning: Dishwasher safe/Boilable/Bleachable
• Safety features: Non-porous/Phthalates free/Hypo-allergenic/Latex free
• Harness compatibility: O-ring compatible
• Material: Silicone
• Length: 6 1/2"
• Insertable length: 5 1/2"
• Circumference: 4 1/2"
• Diameter: 1 1/2"
• Weight: 1 lb
• Special Features: Waterproof, Harness compatible, Flared base

Woody

From Vixen Creations, makers of the Nexus, comes this realistically-sized 100% silicone dildo. Now, the silvery glitter is not a common attribute of the part of the human male anatomy after which this product is patterned, but I think Woody wears it well. If a glittery dick isn't your thing, Woody also comes in black and vanilla. (Hey, at least it's not purple. What IS it with purple sex toys, anyway?)

I decided to introduce myself to Woody in the shower. Y'see, one of Woody's nifty little features is a concave base: a simple, but ingenious design element that allows Woody's base to function like a suction cup. A suction cup strong enough to stick to the wall of the shower through some vigorous action. Not that I'd know, of course. *wink*

But with Woody stuck to the wall, one's hands are free to... um... do other things, like... um... shampoo. Yeah, shampoo. And, if so inclined, to rinse ever-so-thoroughly with that lovely Moen hand-held shower massager. Ahem.

After the hot water ran out... erm, I mean, after I finished showering, I tested Woody in my Jaguar harness, which fits like they were made for one another. Red leather. Glittery dick. It's the new look for fall. All the rage. Can't wait to take 'em for a test drive.

At $60, Woody doesn't come cheap, but versatility, durability, safety, efficiency, and effectiveness make it well worth the expense. The glitter's just icing on that cake.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Who doesn't want a Woody? This guy may be average in size, but his performance is anything but. With a great head for G-spot lovin' and a shaft that's nicely proportioned, Woody looks and feels great. Black, vanilla, or glittery silver! Please refer to our return policy for this product.

• Size: 6-1/4" x 1-1/2"
• Material: Silicone

Silicone Water Wand

A Toys for Tarts guest review:

This is a small, extremely quiet, classically-shaped vibrator. Four and a half inches long, two and a half inches in circumference with the jelly sheath on, it’s rather like a slightly enlarged, cordless bullet. It’s amazingly quiet, which is wonderful for use in the tub, where the water will magnify the slightest sound. For all its diminutive size, it packs quite a strong vibrational punch at its top speed.

The motor is surprisingly strong for one which takes only one AA battery, and of course, the fewer batteries we use, the more savings in both cash and for the environment! The ribbing on the sheath does add some extra zing when the vibe is inserted, and the head is small enough that the motor can make it vibrate along with the rest of the toy.

It’s as waterproof as advertised—despite some fairly extensive submersion, no water got in to the battery compartment. In addition, the jelly sheath fits tightly enough that no water got underneath it, which can be a pain come clean-up time. With the sheath on, the toy is wide enough to put the ribbed sheath in contact with all those lovely nerves in the first inch or so of the pussy. This is not a toy for stretching you out or going deep, but it’s a charming little bathtime accessory.

If I could change one thing about this toy, it would be the speed dial. It’s rather stiff even when dry and next to impossible to change speeds when both your hands and the toy are wet. I wound up removing it, grabbing it with a towel and cranking it up to high speed and then reinserting it, which is a bit of a mood-breaker. With a good waterproof or paperback book of erotica, however, this little vibe will assure a lot of wet fun!

~ Jamie Redmond

From the Babeland site:

Petite, powerful, and waterproof, the Silicone Water Wand is a compact, metallic purple vibrator that is perfect for fun both in and out of the water. The 100% silicone sleeve is removable and either part may be used together or separately.

• Size: 4" x 5/8" sleeve: 3-1/2" x 1"
• Material: Silicone and hard plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: One AAA

...

Tantus Buzz

Cross posting Ducky Doolittle's video review for Tantus' "The Buzz" that came to Toys for Tarts' attention via Violet Blue's blog. Tantus, by the way, is the maker of the Feeldoe and many other great pleasure products.

Violet also has a terrific post about unsafe sex toys/products that y'all should read.

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Jollie

Let me catch my breath... Okay, YUM! And I repeat, YUM! As reported by Fleshbot's Marital Aid Test Kitchen, the Jollie is a big dildo. It takes a bit of patience (and lube) to get it where it needs--no, wants--to be, but once it's there, you'll have no regrets. Trust me on this one.

The photos and the numbers don't really give an adequate understanding of this toy's delicious girth. The manufacturer's website says it's 5.75" in circumference. To put that in perspective, my wrist is 6" around. Got it now? Yup, when likening this product to a sexual experience, fisting is the first thing that *cough* comes to mind.

And, as with fisting, pleasure is not about the piston-style thrust, but the stretching and the fullness and the g-spot pressure. Even little movements provide intense stimulation. That finger ring is a terrific design element, too -- especially when grasping a smooth, slippery toy. The back flange functions as a lever, bringing the "hump" into firmer contact with g-spot. Cha-ching! Grab a towel before you get started. You'll need it.

The only thing I don't like about this product is its packaging, a plastic clamshell case with a bed of polka-dotted tissue paper inside, which makes it impossible to tell if it's been opened. There's a squick factor involved with a toy that could've already been used, y'know? However, an extra diligent pre-cleaning allayed those fears--and they were certainly not in my mind while I was enjoying its girthy, purple bliss.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia Brio

# # #

Product Dimensions
Material: Silicone - Length: 7.5"
Insertable Length: 4" - Circumference: 5.75"
Diameter: 1.75"



* This toy graciously provided for review by Babeland.

Toy Care & Cleaning Tips

Information in this post is courtesy of Babeland. Receive 10% off your first online order from Babeland when you enter the coupon code babecat during checkout.

Non-porous Materials

• Glass should be washed with soap and water. Do not expose glass to extreme temperatures.
  
• Pyrex, a heat-resistant glass, can be boiled, put in a dishwasher, or washed with soapy water.
• Silicone is our material of choice because it will clean easily and thoroughly. To clean, wash the toy with soap and water or place it in the top rack of your dishwasher. Immersing silicone in boiling water for 10 minutes will disinfect it. Silicone may be shared safely after disinfection. Never use silicone lube with silicone toys; this will break down the surface of your toys.
• Stainless steel can be boiled, soaked in a bleach and water solution, or run through your dishwasher.

Porous Materials

• Acrylic toys should be cleaned with soap and warm water.
• Cyberskin (also known as Ultraskin and Softskin) is a delicate material; wash it gently with soap and warm water. Air-dry, then powder lightly with cornstarch (do not use talcum powder; it has been linked to cancer). Store the toys in a plastic bag containing a small amount of cornstarch to keep them from getting sticky. Cyberskin may contain some of the same chemicals found in jelly-rubber. We recommend using a condom on Cyberskin toys.
• Elastomer is a soft, phthalate-free plastic. People who wish to avoid contact with rubber softeners can choose Elastomer toys as a hypoallergenic, durable alternative. To clean, wash with soap and water. We recommend using condoms if sharing the toy and for easier clean-up.
• Hard plastic toys should be wiped down with a soapy cloth and warm water.
• Jelly rubber is a soft rubber that cannot be completely disinfected. To clean, wipe the toy with a soapy cloth and warm water. Store it in a cool, dry place away from other objects. Jelly-rubber contains latex and phthalates (pronounced “thall-eights”). Phthalates are chemicals used as softeners or solvents. We do not have conclusive information on the health effects they may have. Because of their porous nature and chemical components, we believe the only way to safely use jelly rubber toys is with a condom, every time.
• Leather will wipe clean with a damp, soapy cloth or with leather cleaner. Do not soak leather. Wiping with a 70% isopropyl alcohol solution (rubbing alcohol) will disinfect leather toys. After cleaning, you may recondition your toy by using a leather conditioner. Protect metal parts from tarnish by applying a coat of clear nail polish. Always let leather air dry and store in a cool, dry place.
• Neoprene is a synthetic, rubber-based polychloroprene. Wash it with warm water and mild soap, then air-dry.
• Nylon can be hand or machine washed.
• Soft vinyl toys have a smooth, flexible surface that is easy to clean with soap and water. These toys typically contain much lower levels of chemicals than those made of jelly-rubber.
• Vinyl will wipe clean with a damp, soapy cloth or rubbing alcohol.
  
• Nitrile safe sex supplies are compatible with oil-, water-, and silicone-based lubricants. They protect against STDs and pregnancy. Masturbating with gloves, condoms, or dams can be a great way to further eroticize them. Buy differently-sized gloves in different colors to make it clear in the heat of the moment which are medium and which are large. To avoid cross-contaminating, use different color gloves for the butt and the vagina or use a marker to put an “X” on the gloved hand you will be using for the butt. Use dental dams or non-microwavable plastic wrap for cunnilingus and analingus. Put an “X” on the outside so when things get good and slippery you can tell the sides apart.

For more about sex toy materials, click HERE.

General Tips for Longer Toy Life

We strongly recommend using a condom with toys that are made of porous material. This will help prevent transference of body fluids that can carry bacterial and/or viral infections.

• Remove batteries when storing vibrators.
  
• Never submerge electrical components in water. Use a damp, soapy cloth to clean electric toys.
  
• Protect your water-resistant and waterproof vibes by making sure the rubber O-ring stays tight around the battery compartment. If the O-ring is missing or broken, the vibe is no longer safe to use in water.
  
• For vibrators with cords, wrap a small piece of electrical tape around the vibrator/wire and wire/ plug connection points to strengthen them.
  
• Rough edges on hard plastic toys can be filed down with a nail file.
  
• If you are using a bullet vibe internally, put it in a condom and use the condom, not the power cord, to pull it out.

Share Double Dildo

I really wanted to like this toy. Seriously. In fact, I began to question whether my desire to find it all flavors of magnificent would interfere with my objectivity. I needn't have worried. *sigh* I do not like this product. I have read some glowing reviews elsewhere, though -- so don't base a purchasing decision for such a high-priced toy on just one person's opinion. Women come in an infinitely delicious variety of shapes and sizes, so one product is never going to fit every woman perfectly.

It looked, from the photographs, like the designers had incorporated the best features of the Feeldoe and the Nexus and left the worst on the cutting room floor. Pretty packaging, too.

Size-wise, the shaft of the Share is comparable in length to the Nexus and slightly less girthy than the Feeldoe Stout.

Weight-wise, it is also comparable. In other words, it's heavy. It's made of solid silicone, as are the Feeldoe and the Nexus. Kegels of steel are required to use any of these products in the traditional on-top thrusting position without a harness. Not saying it can't be done, mind you, just that it--like all physical achievements--takes some training. Don't expect to slip any of them in and have them stay put during no-holds-barred fucking unless you work your Kegels religiously.

Texture-wise, I do like this product better than the other two. It's softer, more flesh-like, and not as smooth. (Plus, it's a more natural color.) As a result, however, it requires more lube than either of its cousins. (Two packets are included in the box.) That's not necessarily a bad thing, but the more lube floating around down there, the more likelihood that pony end is gonna slip right out of its vaginal stable.

Speaking of the pony end -- it's big. Too big for my comfort, actually. In order to "sit" in the saddle, I had to push and squirm and maneuver to the point that I totally lost my enthusiasm for the task at hand. YMMV, of course. I have been surgically altered (complete hysterectomy -- including my cervix), which may very well be the reason I couldn't get comfortable with the Share. I will note, however, that this hasn't been an issue with either the Nexus or Feeldoe. The pony ends of both cousins fit quite comfortably.

But the aspect of the Share that I dislike the most is the floppiness of the saddle. The Feeldoe is somewhat floppy. It dangles at the same angle when held by the pony end. However, the Share has more bounce. Give 'em each a jiggle, and the Share takes twice as long to return to a resting position. That's WAY too much play, in my opinion. Of the three, the Nexus is the most stable in this regard, but I think even it could use a bit of stiffening. The glowing reviewer mentioned above considered this "flexibility" a plus. I don't.

So, alas, what could have been the be-all-and-end-all ended up being a disappointment. Hopefully, the engineers will keep trying. We walked on the moon, after all. Surely we can design the perfect strapless double dildo.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Silicone Slims

There are some good points about this small toy. The vibrations are pretty strong, particularly for a toy depending on two AA batteries. The cord is long enough to keep the handle in a comfortable position, and the protrusions make it safe to use either vaginally or anally. It’s also quite easy to clean, despite the ridges, and it does not have the plastic-y or fake fruity scent you get with a lot of jelly toys.

Unfortunately, cute and pink as this little vibe is, it fails at its stated purpose of providing simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation. The “external stimulator” is not rigid enough to vibrate when the toy has been inserted. It does provide vaginal or anal stimulation, but the extension just doesn’t vibrate against the clitoris the way it’s supposed to.

Thanks to the silicone, this is the Elmer Fudd of vibrators. Once inserted, it is vewy, vewy qwiet. I field-tested it at the office, and found that the cord is long enough to lead from pussy to pocket, or from ass to pocket, and nobody in the office could hear a thing, even with the vibrations set to the strongest level.

Overall, while this toy doesn’t quite live up to its billing, it does come in handy when you need a quiet thrill. ;-)

Ring Around My Rosie

Available from Blowfish:

"When designers start fashioning sex toys you get some interesting ideas. Most of the designer inspired sex toys we've seen have been sleek creations that don't look much like traditional sex toys at all. Well this one is different. It's clearly a phallic inspired design, but with fun new twists. The core of the toy is a straight shaft with a flared, rounded, non-realistic head. This shaft is made of a bright magenta glow-in-the-dark silicone sheath that holds a stiffer plastic core that keeps it much firmer than if the whole thing was poured of solid silicone. The head is about 1-1/2" at the widest point, the shaft is about 15/16" in diameter, and the total insertable length is just about 6". The base of the sleeve/shaft is slightly flared, allowing it to press down and act as a suction cup; it has a firm grip on smooth surfaces for straight up-down the shaft sliding, although side-to-side motion will break the suction fairly easily. This shaft is nice to use all on its own, providing a dramatic size difference between the flare of the head and the narrower shaft. If you'd prefer something more evenly sized or deliciously ribbed for the whole length of the shaft, you can work the 1-1/2" diameter silicone rings over the head and onto the shaft to provide additional thickness and a rippled texture. These rings make for a seriously bumpy ride so if you dig lots of texture in your thrusting, this is your toy.

"Do note, while this picture is intended to show how the rings will slip onto the toy, be prepared for them not to stay spaced very well once you get down to using it. The rings will slide up and down unless the whole shaft is covered, so don't be misled by the photo of intermittent rings like speed bumps along the shaft. This bright pink set is their Special Edition that comes with amazing packaging, a little pouch for your rings so you don't don't lose them in your toy chests, and a very cute and very tiny pair of black mesh thong panties that tie with pink and black ribbons over the hips. The panties are included as a gift to you from the French manufacturer and do not come in different sizes. (Note: they are super teeny on even our littlest tester).

"And just in case you were thinking between the lines, the base on this dildo is thin and flexible, which makes it work nicely as a suction cup but not so great as a flange. If you want to use this up your butt do exercise caution as it could slip completely inside if you're not careful."

Nexus

Here's what Nite Time Toys had to say:

"This innovative beauty is the ultimate achievement in dildo design — a double that works! The straighter, thicker end is 6 inches long (1.5 inch diameter), and the sharply curved, shorter end is 5 inches long (1.25 inch diameter) with a rippled shaft to help hold it in place. May be used with or without a harness. A Vixen Creations masterpiece, with a lifetime manufacturer's warranty. Handcrafted, swirl patterns will vary."

The Nexus is made of 100% silicone.

Super Stretch Sleeves

Here's what Better Sex had to say:

"Ranging from 1 3/4" to 2 3/4" long, each clear silicone sleeve features a sensational array of pleasure nubs, ribs and sensi-studs to grab your mate's complete attention. Plus, you'll enjoy the way these sleeves hug your erection, prolonging your own pleasure. A delightful way to add a little spice to your next close encounter."

Rock Chick

Here's what Trusted Pleasures had to say:

Produced in the UK using medical grade silicone and comprising a micro bullet for vibrating function, Rock-Chick is a discreet design that can easily fit inside your handbag for those unexpected moments. Rock-Chick is a unique product that stimulates both the clitoral and G spot erogenous zones simultaneously.

It comprises 2 sections, the lower shaft for insertion and the upper to rest over the labia/clitoris. The upper section also comprises of a top grip requiring a gentle rocking motion from the palm of the hand will send you into orgasm overload!

As the Rock-Chick stimulates both erogenous zones it is very beneficial for Women that either can’t or struggle to achieve orgasm. Women that are orgasmic have found using Rock-Chick produces easier and more intense orgasms.

Rock-Chick is great for Women on their own looking for that extra satisfaction, not only does it offer a one handed movement but it can also provides “Hands Free Orgasms”. Once positioned sit up on the edge of the bed or a chair and gently rock back and forth, leaving your hands free for...

Rock-Chick is also a great partner friendly toy that does not cause intimidation or embarrassment and once positioned your partner will find your spot every time!

Requires 3 button batteries, included.