The Fix (leather thigh harness)

I've been a bad girl. (So, I'll spank you later. *wink* Erm, yeah.) I've had The Fix leather thigh harness by Outlaw Leather in my toy box for weeks awaiting review, and I've procrastinated. Big time. Oh, it's not that I haven't played with it. I certainly have. It's just that I keep thinking that there's another position or another way I want to kick its tires before I post a review. I decided last night that the possibilities are endless and that I'd just have to buckle down and write the damned review, incomplete as it may be.

First things first: LEATHER. Leather is just so yummy, and The Fix is no exception. The smell alone is arousing. It's not as supple as the Jaguar, but it's not as stiff & scratchy as a $9.98 belt from Wal-Mart, either. It's sturdy, and sturdy is definitely an attribute one wants when driving a dildo. Plastic parachute buckles are for backpacks, not strap-ons! You don't want your harness to fall off mid-fuck and send you careening off the sexual superhighway like a Corvette that's blown a tire.

Second: POSITIONING. Talk about flexibility! You can get mega creative with this puppy, even when flying solo. You'll never look at your exercise bike the same way. Trust me on this one. For those with impaired mobility, The Fix offers satisfying alternatives to conventional sex positions. Side-lying, in particular, is both intimate and intense. Let your imagination soar -- and your orgasms will follow.

Third: FIT. The straps are joined by a pair of metal rings, so they're infinitely adjustable and plenty long enough, even for the biggest thighs. Once on and sufficiently tightened against bare flesh, the harness is not going to slip. It might rotate a bit, though, with more vigorous action. That's not an issue with lapdance-style thigh fucking, but it comes into play when thrusting. As with any strap-on, practice and technique will overcome that. Practice is very enjoyable, too. *grin*

Of note: SQUEEZE. If you're a woman who tends to be preoccupied by how she looks during sex, be prepared to not like the fleshy bulges that The Fix causes when tightened around your thigh. In order for it to be secure, you have to pull those straps tight -- and when you do, even the thinnest thigh is gonna bulge. Close your eyes and deal. It's worth it. (Putting the harness over jeans does ameliorate this issue, but then you're clothed, and access to your own slippery pink parts is limited. Life is one fucking compromise after another, pun intended. You have to decide what's more important to you as fucker or fuckee.)

And let's face it, thigh fucking is all kinds of awesome for both gals and guys. Until I received The Fix my experience was limited to a stretchy, neoprene thigh harness. For an inexpensive product, something like the Lap Dancer is wonderful. However, it lacks the snaps and O-rings that allow The Fix to accept a wide variety of dildos. As someone who owns said wide variety, that makes me oh-so-blissfully happy.


Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what EdenFantasys, who graciously provided the product for review, has to say:

Take a new direction in the world of harness play with this premium, leather thigh harness from Outlaw Leather™. Made of top-notch high-quality leather, this sturdy and durable harness fits snugly over the thigh for a new and interesting way to play with your harness compatible dildos. The central pad is cut specifically to comfortably fit over the thigh, with extra-long adjustable straps to accommodate most sizes. Solid metal rivets and brass D-rings double the safety and strength of the piece, with a large 2" in diameter brass O-ring in the center to house the dildo.

Product code: OL7020202
Type: Leg harness
Closure: Buckle
Material: Metal / Leather
Length: 10"
Width: 8 1/2"
Dildo holder diameter: 2"
Weight: 1 lb
Special Features: Kinky

Bandito

I heart Fun Factory products. They're always a bit unusual, which appeals to the eclectic eroticist in me. Even when the product doesn't really work for me, I still admire its looks and the creativity behind its design. I especially like that Fun Factory doesn't insist upon making a dildo look precisely like a penis. While the male organ is delightful in so many ways, not all lesbians care to be reminded of such during sex. Fun Factory makes dicks that aren't exactly like dicks for chicks that like un-dick-like dicks. Take Bandito, for example. Sure, the silicone dildo is phallic. It's undoubtedly intended for very dick-like uses. However, it's also intriguingly un-dick-like in a futuristic kinda sci-fi tentacle way. I think artistic sex toys are just damned spiffy.

And, even if one is enamored of the male organ, which--I'll readily admit--I am, that's not to say that it's not enjoyable to have a little added up-curve to one's silicone shaft. Or, if you happen to be pegging, to spin that sucker around in the harness and make the up-curve into a down-curve to better hit the p-spot. Just can't DO that with a real dick, y'know. Well, you could spin the whole guy around, but we're not talking about zero-gravity sex... yet.

Last week, I reviewed a similar product: Vixen Creations' Woody. It's the glittery, more dick-like faux dick over there on the right. As you can see, both have the concave base that serves to suction the dildo to any smooth surface. I had to fidget with Bandito a bit to get it firmly affixed, but neither product lost its grip on my shower wall until I pried it loose after the hot water ran out.

The angle of the photo makes it look as if Bandito is larger, but in reality, Woody is slightly longer and slightly thicker. The only difference I could feel, though, was Bandito's yummy extra up-curve. Both got the job done in roughly the same amount of time. (I don't keep a stopwatch handy when toy testing, sorry.)

Like Woody, Bandito fits my favorite harness beautifully. As singles go, these comparably-priced toys are both solo and strap-on winners.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Eden Fantasys, who graciously provided the Bandito for review, says:

Indulge in silicone fantasy with this artistically designed dildo. Swirling patterns are raised from the surface, giving a dual-texture feel to this pliable sensual toy.

Curved in a gentle arc, the design helps stimulate the G-spot with its smooth tip. A unique three-lobed base is ideal for harness play, and sits very comfortably in the hand for thrusting when used on a partner. A concave shape on the bottom gives it a suction-cup quality for solo play.

Made of soft 100% silicone, the Bandito can be fully sterilized by boiling in water for a few minutes, or a quick soak in a 10% bleach solution. Silicone warms to body temperature, is hygienic, and perfect for those with sensitivity to materials like jelly.

• Product code: FUN24308
• Type: Strap-on dildo
• Texture: Swirled
• Care and cleaning: Dishwasher safe/Boilable/Bleachable
• Safety features: Non-porous/Phthalates free/Hypo-allergenic/Latex free
• Harness compatibility: O-ring compatible
• Material: Silicone
• Length: 6 1/2"
• Insertable length: 5 1/2"
• Circumference: 4 1/2"
• Diameter: 1 1/2"
• Weight: 1 lb
• Special Features: Waterproof, Harness compatible, Flared base

Woody

From Vixen Creations, makers of the Nexus, comes this realistically-sized 100% silicone dildo. Now, the silvery glitter is not a common attribute of the part of the human male anatomy after which this product is patterned, but I think Woody wears it well. If a glittery dick isn't your thing, Woody also comes in black and vanilla. (Hey, at least it's not purple. What IS it with purple sex toys, anyway?)

I decided to introduce myself to Woody in the shower. Y'see, one of Woody's nifty little features is a concave base: a simple, but ingenious design element that allows Woody's base to function like a suction cup. A suction cup strong enough to stick to the wall of the shower through some vigorous action. Not that I'd know, of course. *wink*

But with Woody stuck to the wall, one's hands are free to... um... do other things, like... um... shampoo. Yeah, shampoo. And, if so inclined, to rinse ever-so-thoroughly with that lovely Moen hand-held shower massager. Ahem.

After the hot water ran out... erm, I mean, after I finished showering, I tested Woody in my Jaguar harness, which fits like they were made for one another. Red leather. Glittery dick. It's the new look for fall. All the rage. Can't wait to take 'em for a test drive.

At $60, Woody doesn't come cheap, but versatility, durability, safety, efficiency, and effectiveness make it well worth the expense. The glitter's just icing on that cake.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Who doesn't want a Woody? This guy may be average in size, but his performance is anything but. With a great head for G-spot lovin' and a shaft that's nicely proportioned, Woody looks and feels great. Black, vanilla, or glittery silver! Please refer to our return policy for this product.

• Size: 6-1/4" x 1-1/2"
• Material: Silicone

Tantus Buzz

Cross posting Ducky Doolittle's video review for Tantus' "The Buzz" that came to Toys for Tarts' attention via Violet Blue's blog. Tantus, by the way, is the maker of the Feeldoe and many other great pleasure products.

Violet also has a terrific post about unsafe sex toys/products that y'all should read.

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Share Double Dildo

I really wanted to like this toy. Seriously. In fact, I began to question whether my desire to find it all flavors of magnificent would interfere with my objectivity. I needn't have worried. *sigh* I do not like this product. I have read some glowing reviews elsewhere, though -- so don't base a purchasing decision for such a high-priced toy on just one person's opinion. Women come in an infinitely delicious variety of shapes and sizes, so one product is never going to fit every woman perfectly.

It looked, from the photographs, like the designers had incorporated the best features of the Feeldoe and the Nexus and left the worst on the cutting room floor. Pretty packaging, too.

Size-wise, the shaft of the Share is comparable in length to the Nexus and slightly less girthy than the Feeldoe Stout.

Weight-wise, it is also comparable. In other words, it's heavy. It's made of solid silicone, as are the Feeldoe and the Nexus. Kegels of steel are required to use any of these products in the traditional on-top thrusting position without a harness. Not saying it can't be done, mind you, just that it--like all physical achievements--takes some training. Don't expect to slip any of them in and have them stay put during no-holds-barred fucking unless you work your Kegels religiously.

Texture-wise, I do like this product better than the other two. It's softer, more flesh-like, and not as smooth. (Plus, it's a more natural color.) As a result, however, it requires more lube than either of its cousins. (Two packets are included in the box.) That's not necessarily a bad thing, but the more lube floating around down there, the more likelihood that pony end is gonna slip right out of its vaginal stable.

Speaking of the pony end -- it's big. Too big for my comfort, actually. In order to "sit" in the saddle, I had to push and squirm and maneuver to the point that I totally lost my enthusiasm for the task at hand. YMMV, of course. I have been surgically altered (complete hysterectomy -- including my cervix), which may very well be the reason I couldn't get comfortable with the Share. I will note, however, that this hasn't been an issue with either the Nexus or Feeldoe. The pony ends of both cousins fit quite comfortably.

But the aspect of the Share that I dislike the most is the floppiness of the saddle. The Feeldoe is somewhat floppy. It dangles at the same angle when held by the pony end. However, the Share has more bounce. Give 'em each a jiggle, and the Share takes twice as long to return to a resting position. That's WAY too much play, in my opinion. Of the three, the Nexus is the most stable in this regard, but I think even it could use a bit of stiffening. The glowing reviewer mentioned above considered this "flexibility" a plus. I don't.

So, alas, what could have been the be-all-and-end-all ended up being a disappointment. Hopefully, the engineers will keep trying. We walked on the moon, after all. Surely we can design the perfect strapless double dildo.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Jack Rabbit Harness

The classic Original Rabbit design coupled with an innovative fully adjustable, crotchless, leather, sturdy, high quality strap-on harness.

Uniquely designed, the Jack Rabbit snaps into the comfortable harness for secure thrusting action. Removable dong with non-jamming, synchronized metal beads may be used with or without the harness.

Extensions straps accommodate most shapes and sizes. Powered by the independently operated power pack. Takes 3 AA batteries.

Nexus

Here's what Nite Time Toys had to say:

"This innovative beauty is the ultimate achievement in dildo design — a double that works! The straighter, thicker end is 6 inches long (1.5 inch diameter), and the sharply curved, shorter end is 5 inches long (1.25 inch diameter) with a rippled shaft to help hold it in place. May be used with or without a harness. A Vixen Creations masterpiece, with a lifetime manufacturer's warranty. Handcrafted, swirl patterns will vary."

The Nexus is made of 100% silicone.

Feeldoe

Here's what JT's Stockroom had to say:

"We've tested just about every double-ended dildo available that can be used in a harness, from the traditional double dong to the very complicated and pricey varieties. Technology has come a long way, but they all still left something to be desired, whether it be limited sensation for the wielder, sturdiness, or just over all functionality. Until now. The FeelDoe is the best double-ended dildo we have ever seen! It looks a bit strange and we were skeptical at first, but the pleasure that this toy delivers for both parties involved (its also great for solo play!) exceeds anything that we have ever tested. The smooth, realistically-shaped shaft is a great girth, length and shape for both anal and vaginal penetration. The egg shaped knob that fits inside the woman wearing the Feel Doe is not too big and not too small and somehow manages to give intense sensation with every thrust! The ribbed patch that lands right on the clitoris gets you closer and closer to orgasm as you grind away! The deep valley that runs along the bottom of the FeelDoe allows your 3-strap g-string harness to stabilize the toy even further, though it is equally suited for use with 4-strap harnesses. Simply the best double-ended harness compatible dildo."

"Silicone is a great material for dildos because it feels warm to the touch. These smooth, flexible dildos are resilient and durable. The texture is similar to the softness of skin, giving them a sensual feel. The non-porous silicone cleans easily with soap and water, and unlike some latex materials, doesn't get sticky after being used. (No more picking lint off your freshly washed dildos!) Silicone products are also the only way to go for people who have latex allergies. We highly recommend these fun toys, especially for use with strap-on harnesses."