Buzz 1

Sometimes, amidst all the high-tech orgasmic gadgetry, you just want something sleek and simple. Something that doesn't require mental gymnastics to decipher. Something that cannot be confused with a marine mammal or a pair of miniature purple salad tongs (tongs for which a Toys for Tarts review is coming soon, by the way). Something that won't make your boyfriend's eyes pop out when you slip it into your harness.

Enter *ahem* Buzz 1. This utilitarian, silicone shaft by Tantus, makers of the Feeldoe, is elegant in its functional simplicity--much like the organ after which it was patterned (albeit in a funner color). Available in purple (which is, like, mandatory for today's objet d'fuck), black (which is incredibly sexy in a black leather Jaguar harness), and pink (for MaryKay sales reps).

This product, to my jaded way of thinking, is not a solo toy--like the Hitachi, for example. By that, I mean that using it--and it alone--is like having a scoop of plain vanilla ice cream. Undoubtedly good, but not quite enough to satisfy. It needs something to accentuate its deliciousness. Like a harness. A harness that puts that delightful little bullet vibe in contact with your clit while the smoooooooth shaft glides in and out of your partner. Or, perhaps, if playing alone, a pair of vibrating nipple clamps.

I recommend that every arsenal consist of a basic model like the Buzz 1. Shop around online, though. Prices at the sites I checked varied by as much as $15. And don't forget to pick up the coupon codes we've collected to save a few bucks.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland, who graciously provided the product, has to say:

Smooth, bright and penetrating, this is the family of vibrating silicone dildos our customers have been asking for! Forget about ungainly battery packs, the Buzz 1 comes with a small Zippy Vibe that nestles in the base of the dildo and generates sweet vibration. Great for those looking for a shorter strap-on dildo, this modest sized dildo with semi-realistic head is harness compatible with a 1-1/2" O-ring. Color may vary. Please refer to our return policy for this product.

• Size: 6" x 1-1/4"
• Material: Silicone
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Three watch batteries (included)

Grapevine Vibe

A Toys for Tarts guest review:

Watches and sunglasses. Used to be I could never own either, because some misfortune always befell either object I possessed. Watchbands broke within weeks, hinge pins on sunglasses loosened and disappeared in the carpet, higher end models either were stolen or mislaid at restaurants. As an adult I added bullet vibes to that list, which has left me distraught. For a desired, lasting orgasm, a bullet has been the only toy for me, and finding the RIGHT toy has been a challenge. I've have bullets short out within a week of use, not work at all once I got them home, and even crack after use. Don't ask me how, it's not like I'm riding a mechanical bull while it's in use. It frustrates me that science can build better, faster, strong technology yet attention to the orgasmic arts lingers in a pre-Renaissance.

So it was with some interest that I decided to test the Grapevine Vibe, a cute and aptly-named little number. Here's how Babeland describes it:

Why put something cold and hard on your delicate bits when you can stroke them with the silky-smooth, waterproof Grapevine Vibe? A tiny microbullet buzzes powerfully (but quietly) and comes encased in a velvety, smooth plastic that will have you tipping your cup in no time! Find out why it garnered rave reviews from our staff. Variable speed.

Why cold, indeed? Though I hadn't before minded the touch of chilled plastic against my delicate bit (in some ways, it enhances the pleasure), the idea of a covered bullet intrigued me. And waterproof to boot, something I hadn't thought to look for in a bullet since I didn't think it possible. This could well eliminate the need for a bullet and a waterproof BOB.

But does it work? Oh, yes. The actual bullet is not large - I'd say no longer the average human finger from tip to second knuckle - so not one I'd recommend for insertion unless you have a supplemental toy that uses bullets. The four-speed button panel is wonderful - no more fiddling with dials or sliding switches to find the right intensity. Level one is nice mild buzz against the skin, good for a lingering build-up to the level two medium pace. Three and four...gives all new meaning to the "quickie", though personally they are not speeds I use often for sensitivity reasons.

As for the quiet test, it passes easily. At its lowest speed under a comforter I didn't detect too much, so if you're the type who brings toys along when visiting relatives you should be fine with this one. ;)

If I had to issue a caveat about the Grapevine Vibe, it would be to take special care when cleaning. Because it is not exposed plastic like other bullets, you might not be as vigilant in clean as you would with a silicone toy. Of course, all toys require thorough care, so treat it nice. Website reviews on the Grapevine estimate this toy can last anywhere from about 1-3 years before the usual signs of wear show, and I suppose that depended on frequency of use. Me, knowing how well this purple people pleaser feels, I think I'll stock up on extras.

~ Leigh Ellwood

Ellwood...If She Could
Daring Erotic Romance
http://www.leighellwood.com

From the Babeland site:

• Size: 1-1/2" x 5/8"
• Material: Hard plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Two AA

Nipplettes Vibrating Clamps

I so look forward to going to the post office when I know I'll open my box and find that yellow you've-got-a-package slip inside! The past week was no exception, as a shipment from Babeland awaited pickup. Of the four products sent for Toys for Tarts to review, I was most eager to try the Nipplettes Vibrating Clamps.

I had high hopes that these cute, pink pinchers would not be as heavy as similar products, for the weight combined with the vibration often requires the clamp to be tightened beyond that point of deliciously painful pressure in order to stay where you want 'em -- even when horizontal. Sweat, other *cough* bodily fluids, lotions, lubes, or oils just compound that slippery problem.

These babies are essentially bullet vibes with a spring clip attached. They're made of a rigid, lightweight rubber (which aids their stay-put-edness). Each takes 3 button batteries. The product comes with a set installed and an extra set, so you're ready to rock-n-roll right out of the box. The tension can be adjusted via a small, plastic thumb screw. For me, the tightest setting was not the least bit uncomfortable -- and any loosening of the screw resulted in slippage when powered on, even without any of the slip-inducing factors mentioned above.

For bullets, these have a decent vibration that is not smothered by the casing. The higher-frequency buzz is not as stimulating to me as the deep, thrumming resonance of more powerful toys, but they make a nice addition that frees the hands to attend to other erogenous zones. Hassle-free, simple on/off toys that can be grabbed on impulse. Yeah, these will stay in my nightstand within easy reach.

And, speaking of other erogenous zones... while the packaging might SAY they're nipple clamps, I've never been one to follow instructions. I am pierced on one of the two appendages for which this product is intended, and that side really doesn't need any additional stimulation -- if you get my drift. So, I had the bright idea to put it to good use below the waist. What an intensely delightful discovery! I think these puppies should be sold in THREEs. Seriously.

Two of the remaining four products in the shipment have been farmed out to intrepid Toys for Tarts volunteer reviewers. Their reviews will be posted in the coming weeks, after they've had time to thoroughly *ahem* field test them. As for me, I'll be reviewing this one next. Is my halo on straight?

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

* This toy graciously provided for review by Babeland.

Ring of Xtasy

Cock rings always look so much bigger in pictures, and this one is no exception. With your garden-variety bullet-toting cock ring, quality is gauged in two ways: (a) vibration, and (b) fit. Unfortunately, this particular product gets a B- on both prongs of the quality test. It's a decent enough toy, but the bullet vibe isn't very powerful & it burned through a set of batteries in one session. (Okay, granted I was riding it for a while, but even so ...)

From my perspective, the only enhancement provided by the toy was the hardness of the bullet sandwiched between my partner and me. It was nice to grind against. My partner reported no enhancement (beyond the enjoyment of watching me do said grinding *wink*).

The blurb says:

Made of super stretch silicone this heart-shaped ring is soft with a snug and comfortable fit. The mega powered bullet sends the bunny ears into strong rapid motion for steady clitoral stimulation. Easy on/off push button for the bullet. Embedded hearts on the ring aid in providing friction and labial stimulation. Requires 2 button cell batteries - 2 sets are included.

Soft, yes. Comfortable, yes. Snug, no. "Mega powered," no. Easy on/off, yes. The "embedded hearts" (i.e., little bumps) didn't add to the friction that I could discern.

This is, unfortunately, a product that will most likely spend the rest of its life in the bottom of my toy bag.

* This toy graciously provided for review by Xandria

Jesse's Vibro Toy

I opened the package and thought, "It's a glorified bullet vibe." And technically, it is just that. It has that high-pitched beehive type vibration which is standard for bullet vibes. Y'know, the type that takes next to FOREVER to get you off? Unlike other bullets, however, this one has a tongue. It's a niiiiiiiice tongue, too!

Until I experienced this toy, I had relegated bullet vibes to the "supplementary" category. In other words, an enjoyable (non-threatening) add-on for partner play, but not "front line" orgasmic material (like a Hitachi Magic Wand or a jackrabbit-style vibe).

Jesse's Vibro Toy is made by California Exotic Novelties. It's a small (3") rigid plastic waterproof "micro massager" with a removable jelly sleeve. Takes 3 button sized batteries. Six are included. (A nice touch!) I preferred using it with the sleeve on ('cause, again, that tongue is quite nice).

Toys for Tarts found a WIDE range of prices for this product online -- anywhere from $19.00 all the way up to $44.95 -- so shop around. (Clicking on the picture will take you to the store with the lowest price that we found.) I'd pay up to $25 for this toy, but not a penny more -- especially since rechargeable button batteries aren't available.

* This toy graciously provided for review by Xandria

Feeldoe

Here's what JT's Stockroom had to say:

"We've tested just about every double-ended dildo available that can be used in a harness, from the traditional double dong to the very complicated and pricey varieties. Technology has come a long way, but they all still left something to be desired, whether it be limited sensation for the wielder, sturdiness, or just over all functionality. Until now. The FeelDoe is the best double-ended dildo we have ever seen! It looks a bit strange and we were skeptical at first, but the pleasure that this toy delivers for both parties involved (its also great for solo play!) exceeds anything that we have ever tested. The smooth, realistically-shaped shaft is a great girth, length and shape for both anal and vaginal penetration. The egg shaped knob that fits inside the woman wearing the Feel Doe is not too big and not too small and somehow manages to give intense sensation with every thrust! The ribbed patch that lands right on the clitoris gets you closer and closer to orgasm as you grind away! The deep valley that runs along the bottom of the FeelDoe allows your 3-strap g-string harness to stabilize the toy even further, though it is equally suited for use with 4-strap harnesses. Simply the best double-ended harness compatible dildo."

"Silicone is a great material for dildos because it feels warm to the touch. These smooth, flexible dildos are resilient and durable. The texture is similar to the softness of skin, giving them a sensual feel. The non-porous silicone cleans easily with soap and water, and unlike some latex materials, doesn't get sticky after being used. (No more picking lint off your freshly washed dildos!) Silicone products are also the only way to go for people who have latex allergies. We highly recommend these fun toys, especially for use with strap-on harnesses."