The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot

Violet Blue's writing always makes for an enjoyable read, and this book is no exception. Literate, intelligent, witty, and irreverent, The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot conveys in-depth information about a woman's anatomy, the mechanics of arousal and orgasm, and the wide variety of ways by which women can be pleasured. It is presented in a accessible and totally non-threatening way that won't have even the most vanilla of readers shying away from its message.

Two things I particularly like about Violet's books: (1) she never comes across as judgmental about one's sexual triggers or lack thereof, and (2) she does an excellent job of advising folks who might be intimidated by the prospect of introducing a new sexual scenario into a relationship. Regardless of the scenario in question, these two things effectively empower the reader.

I learned a thing or two, and I've been intimately acquainted with my g-spot for years.

Interspersed with the no-nonsense advice are four erotic short stories by Alison Tyler, which I consider a delightful bonus.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Bill & Desiree: Love Is Timeless

When Bill asked me to do this review, I first let out a "Whoop!" then responded with an enthusiastic "Hell, yes!" email. Of course, he couldn't hear the shout, but I hope my enthusiasm came through the words on the screen. I've been intensely curious about Comstock Films since I first became aware of them, and I intended to acquire & review each -- just had never made the time. I had watched each of the previews on the website and was virtually paralyzed with indecision on which title to do first. Thankfully, Bill decided for me.

This film is a perfect example of the difference between the erotic and the pornographic (which is, incidentally, a subject I've been attempting to discuss on Squidoo). While the subject matter is undoubtedly adult and delightfully explicit, it is definitely not porn. Watching a committed couple have sex -- make love, if that's the terminology preferred -- is far, far different than the choreographed artificiality and staged cum shots of the typical porn fare. It is both titillating and empowering, something that can't be said about any adult film I've ever seen... until now.

The most striking aspect of this documentary-style feature is the wondrous awe with which both Bill & Desiree approach each other and their sex. They not only get off together, they have bawdy, uninhibited FUN while doing it. Everyone should be blessed with such a relationship! Intermingled with the soft sighs and orgasmic moans, there is giggling and grinning. The clear adoration in Bill's expression makes this DVD worth its weight in gold.

In fact, although I'm not suggesting anyone do so, this is precisely the type of positive portrayal that youth should have as their first exposure to sex and relationships.  Ever wonder what the world would be like if our first impressions of "ideal" sex weren't formed by unrealisitically-proportioned bodies being objectified or completely degraded? Unfortunately, it takes people decades to overcome the stigma of "perfection" in both their bodies and their sex lives. Some -- both women and men -- never do, and that's a damned shame.

The sex is incredibly hot and incredibly fun, and getting to know Bill & Desiree through the candid interview is the icing on this pleasure cake.  Beautiful people sharing a beautiful love story. Kudos to Comstock Films!

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

~ ~ ~

Bill & Desiree: Love is Timeless is the latest installment in director Tony Comstock's award-winning Real People, Real Life, Real Sex series of erotic documentaries.

Bill and Desiree's story starts in the second half of life: a chance meeting, a powerful attraction, a carnal connection, and a deep, sensual love. Through an intimate and lively interview, we hear the story of how Bill and Desiree met, and what drew them to each other. When we witness the playful intensity of their beautifully photographed lovemaking, we see that pleasure is ageless, and that love is indeed timeless!

Bill & Desiree: Love is Timeless is a film about passion, about desire; a film that gives older lovers a reason to celebrate, and younger lovers something to look forward to. Bill & Desiree: Love is Timeless is a film that invites us to re-imagine what love can be and should be in our later years.

Annie Sprinkle’s Amazing World of Orgasm

I'm not sure what I expected from this DVD, but what I got definitely was not it. It's been touted as a "must see" for those wishing to learn more about orgasm. I disagree. Totally. I suppose if I could figure out the target audience, I might be able to pen a more favorable review. I don't think those who are having trouble reaching orgasm will derive much benefit from the information shared. In fact, it would intimidate many, especially more vanilla folk (who often seem to be most in need of accurate, practical information). And I don't think those who simply seek more and/or better orgasms will benefit either.

The novice is not going to find reassurance or practical tips beyond the "go with the flow" message. The advice is not bad, mind you; it's just recycled. The expert is just going to shrug and say, "Well, duh."

The best I can say about this 2004 film is that it does well in capturing the diversity of approach to orgasm. To that end, it succeeds almost too well because the diversity of its cast is more intriguing than the advice provided.
There were a couple too-brief segments which attempted to define various types of orgasm that I found interesting, but on the whole, I thought the production was rather disorganized. Add to that the distracting, new-agey graphics, and the whole 53-minute thing was difficult to endure. It's not going to win any awards for editing, direction, sound, or special effects. That's for damned sure.

Orgasm is undoubtedly a multi-faceted beast. It can be physical, emotional, or spiritual (or any combination of the three), and I don't think any form of orgasm instruction would be complete without addressing those aspects. However, this film focuses too heavily on the spiritual, almost to the exclusion of the actual mechanics of orgasm, to be of any instructional value.

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Peridise

The latest toy I've enjoyed reviewing is a markedly different type of sexual aid called the Aneros Peridise.

These Unisex Anal PC Toys are unique and are available in different sizes and shapes. They are made of a rigid white plastic polymer, are completely waterproof, and are latex and phthalate free.

The Peridise Advanced Pack contains two Peridise toys. These particular toys measure 4 inches in length, the larger having a 2.5 inch circumference while the thinner is 2 inches.

Unlike other anal toys, you are supposed to begin with the larger of the two and then work your way down. In this case, the thinner the toy, the more intense the orgasm.

The original intent of this toy was medicinal, designed as a way to use the healing power of massage in the anal-rectal region. And it does indeed promote the health of this area with invigorating benefits and increased blood flow.

But scientists soon realized an unexpected benefit. The large number of nerve endings and muscles in the anus combined with the action of peristalsis (organized muscle contractions that occur throughout the digestive tract) created very pleasurable sensations and, interestingly, much stronger orgasms.

Hurray for science!

Anally erotic as I am, I couldn't wait to give these things a try.

I decided to use the Peridise in solo play only, Sarah's Happy Time. Anal is not for everyone and this type of play can be a very personal thing.

Additionally, these toys are extremely rigid, and perhaps aren't really designed to be used in tandem with your partner occupying your other orifice. Ahem.

So after ensuring cleanliness and applying some lube, I slowly inserted the larger of the two. Partially. Just the tip. This is the purpose of this specialty toy.

After minimal insertion, you're supposed to relax and allow your body's natural reactions to take over. It was almost maddening for me to stop at this point so I decided to add a bit of vibrator play. That worked for awhile but soon I could feel fluctuations and the beginning waves of anal contractions.

With a bit of clenching and relaxing, a sort of tug of war game ensued with my parts, and I found myself in an unexpected but powerful orgasm.

The Peridise moves by itself along with your own body movements. It's possible to draw the tool in and out with your own muscles, adding to the pleasurable sensations. You'll feel your anus unconsciously reacting, adding lovely little twinges and miniature orgasms and soon the peristaltic waves will become stronger and more rapid.

With practice, you'll have further control. And the unique shapes of the Peridise toys will have differing pleasurable effects. And stronger orgasms.

It's a specialty tool designed for experienced anal play, and I must confess I've yet to share it with my partner. But it's well worth the effort to develop the skills.

~ Sarah Rose

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Come one, come all with the superlative all-orgasms-intensified, all-genders-satisfied Peridise anal plugs. No one knows your butt—and how to please it—better than Aneros, and they’ve sculpted two sets of plugs sure to find your sweet spot comfortably and easily: just gripping the Peridise induces involuntary contractions in the anal muscle, generating regional orgasms (buttgasms?), or intensifying traditional orgasms for men and women. Get two larger plugs in the beginner set, and two smaller plugs in the Advanced (stronger muscles can grip a smaller toy). Insertion is easy with the thoughtfully tapered head, and the design allows for easy movement and a comfortable hands-free and wearable fit.

• Size/Beginner: 4" x 3/5", 4" x 4/5"
• Size/Advanced: 3-3/4” x 7/10”, 3-3/4" x 9/10"
• Material: Hard plastic

Tantus Ripple

Any product from Tantus is worth its weight in orgasms, and the Ripple is no exception. While I didn't find it adequate as a standalone, this little silicone dildo is absolutely perfect as an anal adjunct during other activities.

It's a bit short for a harness, in my opinion, 'cause even if the "insertable length" is adequate, there's the booty to consider. In a harness, the entire insertable length is not gonna make it through the back door. Manual use, however, is delightful. Not so big that it draws all your attention. Not so small that you can forget about its presence. Just right.

And, for those couples wanting to introduce anal play for him, this product is totally non-threatening. Hell, it's almost cute. Cleanup's a breeze with 100% silicone, too!

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia Brio

Here's what EdenFantasys has to say:

The small Ripple is the ideal toy to safely begin anal exploration. Its graduated design is the perfect starter size (smaller than a finger tip to start, and about an inch across at its widest bulb). Completely flexible and suitable for harness use. Made of 100% medical grade quality silicone, the Ripple plug is flexible, hypoallergenic and warms to the body. Toy is boilable, bleachable in a 10% solution and dishwasher safe.

Product code: TAN0888
Type: Probe
Texture: Smooth
Care and cleaning: Dishwasher safe / Boilable / Bleachable
Safety features: Non-porous / Phthalates free / Hypo-allergenic / Latex free
Material: Silicone
Length: 5 1/4"
Insertable length: 4 3/4"
Circumference: 3"
Diameter: 1"
Weight: 0.3 lb
Special Features: Hypoallergenic

#38

Best Sex Toy Reviewers is an annual list compiled by Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek. Only reviewers who reviewed during the year of 2008 were considered, there will be a list for 2009 next year.

Each reviewer was rated separately by two people (Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus did not rate themselves, their second rating came from a third party). The ratings were on a scale of one to five in four areas: Content, Organization, Originality, and Regularity. Each reviewer got a score out of 20 by each person and then the scores were put together to make a final score out of 40. Those final scores were ranked from high to low to get the list below

There were many ties. In cases where reviewers had nominations the number of nominations were the deciding factor for the ties. In cases where reviewers had the same number of nominations Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus decided the order.

We recognize that this list is highly subjective. This is in no way a definitive list of reviewers, it is simply our list, and you can do with it as you will. We did use finite measurements, as discussed above, to create this list, but ultimately it is our own list. However, lists are fun to have and be able to point to.

1. Essin’ Em
2. Domina Doll
3. Beautiful Dreamer
4. Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
5. Epiphora
6. Gabe and Elizabeth
7. Sinclair Sexsmith
8. Catalina Loves
9. Agent Ansley
10. Betty Rocket
11. Carnivalesq
12. J.D. Bauchery
13. Toygirl
14. Thursday’s Child
15. Dame Demi
16. Shay
17. Shasta Gibson
18. AlwaysArousedGirl
19. Freddy and Eddy
20. Dangerous Lilly
21. Jack
22. Erin Leone
23. Sleeping Dreamer
24. Ellie Lumpesse
25. Wendy Blackheart
26. Ducky Doolittle
27. Curvaceous Dee
28. The Porn Librarian
29. Lux Alptraum
30. Kyle
31. Naughty Secretary
32. Monkey
33. Nadia West
34. Alpine Subdreams
35. Bulma
36. Radical Vixen
37. The Beautiful Kind
38. Toys for Tarts
39. Sienna
40. Audacia Ray
41. Mariella
42. Ang
43. Lucy Vonne
44. Holden
45. Coy Pink
46. Backseat Boohoo
47. Bad Bad Girl
48. Jimbo Jones
49. Tess
50. BOX: Les Petites Morts
51. Zephyrine
52. N
53. Phaedra Fallen
54. Jiz Lee
55. Alisa
56. Syntax
57. Panthera Pardus
58. Red
59. Sommer Marsden
60. Mollena
61. The Countess
62. Adriana
63. Madeline Glass
64. Hussy Red
65. Trouble
66. Roxy
67. Sexorcism
68. Roxanne Rhoads
69. Amber
70. Roxi
71. Kinkerbelle
72. Sylvanus and Mina
73. Dark Lady
74. Sex Is Fun
75. Adrie Santos

We scoured the internet for reviewers. Pleasurists was a great source of reviewers, but it was not the only source, as many of the reviewers above have never participated in a Pleasurists. If you are not on the list and you reviewed in 2008 the chances are we simply did not know about you and couldn’t find you in our many searches.

Black Large Rubber Whip

Remember elementary school? Remember those little rubber bands that the class bully used to fire at unsuspecting kids? Remember how they stung? The kind of slightly delayed pinch-burn? Now, magnify that by about 100 strands, remove the humiliation (unless that's your kink), and add sexual arousal.

Rubber stings, my friend. It's so unlike the thud-caress of a leather flogger. This little number might not look as capable as its big, deerhide cousin, but what it lacks in visual impressiveness, it more than makes up in sensory stimulation. With the same swing, the Black Large Rubber Whip from Babeland can deliver welt-producing blows.

Or, used in a gentler fashion, the strands tickle and tease. Should they acquire a glaze of lube or bodily fluid, they can easily be washed off (unlike leather, which requires more involved cleaning procedures). This is a great addition to the kink enthusiast's toy box, and its $30 price tag won't set you back.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Brush the soft strands of the Black Large Rubber Whip across your lover’s body, and you’ll hear soft sighs; snap it against an unsuspecting behind, and you’ll hear delighted gasps. The largest of our rubber whips (see also Pink Medium and Red Mini, sold separately) this black stallion really delivers the look and feel of a rough ride. With a little restraint, you’ll be able to build up the sensation from light strokes to an intense climax. Makes a great gift for couples or singles looking to experiment with kink.

• Size: 22"
• Material: Rubber

Hysterical Condom Ad

You tell him, Dan!

Was directed to this advice column (emphasis mine) via a Babeland tweet:

Buzz Kill
January 22, 2009
By Dan Savage

I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can't come unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She's asked me to let her use it during sex or for me to use it on her, but I've refused. It's bad enough knowing I can't compete with that thing without having to look at it.

Let's Insert My Prick

Yeah, yeah, LIMP, you can't compete. Like a lot of other men, you've fallen in love with a woman who needs intense, focused stimulation in order to come, the kind of sensation that hands, fingers, tongues, and cocks just can't provide—a woman who requires a vibrator. Now let's take a little time to grieve, shall we?

Time's up.

Now stop being such a douchebag about this, LIMP, and go ask the wife to show you just how to hold the vibrator and just where to apply pressure so that you—YOU!—can start giving her orgasms during sex. See the vibrator as a tool, moron, not a threat. If you love your wife and want her to stay married to you, LIMP, get on the proverbial stick. Because if being with you means going without orgasms during sex for the rest of her life—all because she was foolish enough to marry an insecure bag of slop who refuses to do what needs to be done to get her off—then your wife just might decide to be with someone else.

And now an important message for all straight guys everywhere: Some women need vibrators to get off. Why? Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most of a woman's clitoral tissues are inside her body; the exposed part of her clitoris is just the tip, comparable to the head of your penis. Now imagine if the shaft of your penis were buried inside your body, guys. You might need the help of a vibrator to get off then, too; you might need a tool that could stimulate your shaft through layers of skin and muscle and fat. We've been over and over this since the early 1990s, fellas, and there's no excuse anymore for freaking out about your wife/girlfriend/mom needing a vibrator, okay?

Isis

I appreciate an impressively-packaged product, and the Isis from Emotional Bliss certainly qualifies. When I saw the box, I thought I'd been shipped the wrong vibrator, because an itty bitty finger vibe couldn't possibly need such a big box. In truth, the box is at least twice the size it needs to be. But it's nifty, and it makes you feel like you're getting more for your money. Still, it's wasteful. See how wishy-washy I am on this matter?

Inside was the Isis vibe (a rechargeable fingertip number), three sizes of interchangeable finger clips, (from the teeny pinkie-sized to the "one-for-the-thumb" Steelers variety) the charging adapter, two 30ml bottles of lubricant (one water-based, one silicone), and a very entertaining instruction booklet. The booklet claims that the 80Hz at which the Isis vibrates is the "proven frequency to stimulate orgasm." I found this most amusing, for some inexplicable reason. The website further clarifies: "80Hz - the speed suggested to be the most likely to stimulate orgasms in women aged 18-30" (recommending its big sister, the Chandra, for women over 30 because it vibrates at 110Hz). Well, I'm 45, so I'm not quite sure whether my word should be trusted on the efficacy of this product. After all, I'm a decade and a half past the target orgasm demographic.

Now, according to a Medscape article touting the benefits of "vibration anesthesia" *eek* prior to BoTox injections, the Hitachi Magic Wand works at 5,000 or 6,000 vibrations per minute (83 Hz or 100 Hz), and I can assure you that the Isis doesn't feel anywhere NEAR as powerful. I can also assure you that my Hitachi has only anesthetized me in terms of a post-orgasmic rush of oxytocin bliss. YMMV. This intrepid researcher is of the opinion that it's the amplitude, rather than the frequency, that makes a toy super extra special. The Isis buzzes like a bullet vibe, which is about all a reasonable person can expect from a motor that size. (FYI: Of the smallest products, I think the We-vibe has the strongest vibration.)

The website claims: It is practically silent and is fully rechargeable so it can run for 2-3 hours – plenty of time to reach that ultimate orgasm. I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone who has the time OR the energy to masturbate for 2-3 hours in search of an orgasm. Maybe I'm greedy, but if a toy hasn't gotten me off within 20 minutes, I'm calling in the artillery (under the command of General Hitachi).

The lubes aren't anything worth writing home about. They claim to be tasteless. While they weren't (to me), they also weren't repulsive.

Bottom line? If you can get off with a bullet vibe solo, then you can get off with the Isis solo. However, what's neat about the Isis is that it's rechargeable. I cannot stand those button batteries, and I primarily avoid bullet vibes for that reason. And, it's got that nifty finger clip which makes playing with lube sooooooo much easier. Ever try to hang on to a slippery bullet vibe? It's a challenge.

Partner play, however, is where the Isis can really shine. Super convenient, easy to power on or off, won't get in the way or interrupt the flow of the action. It just provides that extra little boost of stimulation to add to the excitement.

Until next time,

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

The smallest rechargeable finger-fitting vibrator in the world offers mild vibration—great for massage, masturbation and getting you over the top in partner sex. You can try all three in one session since the Isis holds a charge for up to three hours. Includes several different finger-ring sizes so it's easy to share. A top-quality vibrator: excellent for first-timers, quiet, and very portable. Blue and white. Includes international converter for charger. Speed is 80 Hz. Please refer to our return policy for this product.

• Size: 2-1/2" x 3/4"
• Material: Non-porous TPE plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Rechargeable

Emotional Bliss products are wildly popular in Europe but are only available through select channels in the USA. Babeland is one of the chosen purveyors of the range.

The Fix (leather thigh harness)

I've been a bad girl. (So, I'll spank you later. *wink* Erm, yeah.) I've had The Fix leather thigh harness by Outlaw Leather in my toy box for weeks awaiting review, and I've procrastinated. Big time. Oh, it's not that I haven't played with it. I certainly have. It's just that I keep thinking that there's another position or another way I want to kick its tires before I post a review. I decided last night that the possibilities are endless and that I'd just have to buckle down and write the damned review, incomplete as it may be.

First things first: LEATHER. Leather is just so yummy, and The Fix is no exception. The smell alone is arousing. It's not as supple as the Jaguar, but it's not as stiff & scratchy as a $9.98 belt from Wal-Mart, either. It's sturdy, and sturdy is definitely an attribute one wants when driving a dildo. Plastic parachute buckles are for backpacks, not strap-ons! You don't want your harness to fall off mid-fuck and send you careening off the sexual superhighway like a Corvette that's blown a tire.

Second: POSITIONING. Talk about flexibility! You can get mega creative with this puppy, even when flying solo. You'll never look at your exercise bike the same way. Trust me on this one. For those with impaired mobility, The Fix offers satisfying alternatives to conventional sex positions. Side-lying, in particular, is both intimate and intense. Let your imagination soar -- and your orgasms will follow.

Third: FIT. The straps are joined by a pair of metal rings, so they're infinitely adjustable and plenty long enough, even for the biggest thighs. Once on and sufficiently tightened against bare flesh, the harness is not going to slip. It might rotate a bit, though, with more vigorous action. That's not an issue with lapdance-style thigh fucking, but it comes into play when thrusting. As with any strap-on, practice and technique will overcome that. Practice is very enjoyable, too. *grin*

Of note: SQUEEZE. If you're a woman who tends to be preoccupied by how she looks during sex, be prepared to not like the fleshy bulges that The Fix causes when tightened around your thigh. In order for it to be secure, you have to pull those straps tight -- and when you do, even the thinnest thigh is gonna bulge. Close your eyes and deal. It's worth it. (Putting the harness over jeans does ameliorate this issue, but then you're clothed, and access to your own slippery pink parts is limited. Life is one fucking compromise after another, pun intended. You have to decide what's more important to you as fucker or fuckee.)

And let's face it, thigh fucking is all kinds of awesome for both gals and guys. Until I received The Fix my experience was limited to a stretchy, neoprene thigh harness. For an inexpensive product, something like the Lap Dancer is wonderful. However, it lacks the snaps and O-rings that allow The Fix to accept a wide variety of dildos. As someone who owns said wide variety, that makes me oh-so-blissfully happy.


Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what EdenFantasys, who graciously provided the product for review, has to say:

Take a new direction in the world of harness play with this premium, leather thigh harness from Outlaw Leather™. Made of top-notch high-quality leather, this sturdy and durable harness fits snugly over the thigh for a new and interesting way to play with your harness compatible dildos. The central pad is cut specifically to comfortably fit over the thigh, with extra-long adjustable straps to accommodate most sizes. Solid metal rivets and brass D-rings double the safety and strength of the piece, with a large 2" in diameter brass O-ring in the center to house the dildo.

Product code: OL7020202
Type: Leg harness
Closure: Buckle
Material: Metal / Leather
Length: 10"
Width: 8 1/2"
Dildo holder diameter: 2"
Weight: 1 lb
Special Features: Kinky

Hot Heart Massage Set

I was skeptical. I thought it was a cheap gimmick but, much to my surprise, this thing is cool. I mean, it's hot. And it's on sale, too! The fluid-filled heart contains a little metal disk that you flex to active the stuff that gets hot. Then, for the next 20-30 minutes, it's like a little heating pad. Add a bit of the lovely massage oil that comes with it, and you have the recipe for relaxation.

The first time I tested this product, I was alone. I crawled in bed, got comfy, activated the disk thingy, and rubbed the hot heart over my sore shoulders. I wanted to time how long it stayed hot, but the next thing I knew, it was morning.

So, I boiled the heart for 7 minutes (per the instructions) to re-set the... whatever it's called inside there and, once it cooled, asked my partner to help me test it again. I received a vigorous back massage, and the heart stayed hot for a good 10 minutes after my partner ran out of steam.

My only complaint is that the edges of the heart can be kinda rough if you don't hold it just right. The oil helps, of course, but the manufacturer could work on design improvement there. I tried to research the company (Lover's Choice), because I'd like to buy more of the light, citrus massage oil that was included in the package, but the website was not responding.

It's a wee bit of a pain to boil the heart to re-set it, but that's a minor inconvenience. I plan to keep this handy and ready for use, right next to the other go-to products on my nightstand.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Make your next massage warmer (and hotter!) with the steamy Hot Heart Massager. A five-inch, heart-shaped PVC pack heats up when you flex the small metal disc inside. Sprinkle on a few drops of the included three-ounce fragrant Citrus Blossom Massage oil and indulge in a relaxing, deep heat massage that soothes tired muscles and wakes up erogenous zones. First-aid packs and hand warmers function on the same heating principle: by flexing the metal disc you create a chain reaction that causes the pad to crystallize, and then heat up to about 130 degrees. The heart holds heat for thirty minutes and can be reactivated in boiling water. Note that if the heart massager arrives crystallized, just melt in boiling water and let cool before reheating to use. Includes a mini massage guide. Note that this toy is not a vibrator, and is not recommended for use on the genitals.

• Size: 5" x 5"
• Material: PVC

Good Clean Love

This line of water-based lubricants touts itself as "all natural." Okay. What exactly does the word "natural" mean in this context? To me, "natural" means a substance that occurs in nature without the interference of a chemist and a laboratory. With an ingredients list that includes deonixed water, lactoperoxidase, glucose oxidase, and benzoic acid, I kinda doubt my definition applies. That leaves me wondering just how the word "natural" DOES apply to these ingredients. I mean, if a chemist in a laboratory is required, then damned near anything and everything made from ingredients found on our planet qualifies as natural, as well.

This line of products also claims to be 99.99% vegan. Now, do they really think that minuscule 0.01% will be insignificant to a vegan? A vegan! I mean, vegans are uber-sticklers for details. A person can't be "kinda vegan" any more than a woman can be "kinda pregnant." Vegans are the fundamentalist branch of the vegetarian family.

A selling point I can (and do) applaud is the "no animal products or animal testing." Huzzah!

Frankly, I've never put much thought into the chemical composition of lubricant other than ensuring that it's: (a) compatible with my toys, (b) suitable to the planned activity, and (c) safe with latex condoms.

Water-based lubricants are (unless color is added, of course) non-staining. They are also safe to use in any situation, although they will not be effective under water because (duh!) they become diluted in the water. They're also the most compatible with oral sex, because they are easily flavored and can avoid indigestible ingredients (like dimethicone).

The manufacturer's website says "90% of the OTC lubes available are made with chemicals designed first for cars or oven cleaner." Um, so what? Just because Tang was designed for the astronauts doesn't mean it's not drinkable. Okay, bad example... but you get the idea. Innovation is innovation, and finding new uses for existing things is just *grin* innovating.

The site also claims that "all of our lubricants are edible and delicious."

I received the "Almost Naked" flavor to review, which is not available on the Babeland site. While it may be "edible" in the sense that it won't kill you or make you hurl, it's FAR from "delicious." In fact, it's barely tolerable on the taste buds. If I went down on a partner--male or female--who'd been lubed with this product, I'd be unable to hang long enough to give or receive any satisfaction from the activity.

I can't imagine the Lavender Rose being any better. (Who wants to taste a Lavender Rose cock? Really? And a Lavender Rose pussy would be too much like the sachets that my grandmother used to keep in her "unmentionables" drawer. I'll pass!)

The Peppermint (not yet available on the Babeland site) and the Cinnamon Vanilla sound more promising, although they still have to overcome the medicinal taste of aloe, which is a primary ingredient.

As for the lubricant itself, it was gloopier than other water-based products, probably due to the agar. Agar is a gelantinous seaweed derivative that is also used as a laxative and a thickener for soups. (See above re innovation and multiple uses for the same substances.) But, it was satisfactorily slippery through a rather lengthy activity, and cleanup was a breeze. I did not use it internally, however, because it contains glucose. While the benzoic acid is a preservative, I didn't see any reason to invite a yeast infection by putting sugar in my snatch.

One bonus: the aloe left me feeling very, very soft and silky in a place that is very, very soft and silky to begin with. I think this product would make a damned fine massage gel. I'd only use it again for sex if the taste factor wasn't going to *ahem* come into play.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

Make your lubricant the flower-infused, healing Good Clean Love—even if your sex is down and dirty! Real herbs and flowers—like cinnamon sticks and whole rosebuds—combine with aloe for a slippery, skin-friendly experience. Try tasty Cinnamon Vanilla or non-irritating Lavender Rose.

• Size: 4 ounces
• Formula Base: Water
• Ingredients/Cinnamon Vanilla: Deionized Water, Agar, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Xanthan Gum, Cinnamomum Cassia Bark, Vanilla Planifolia Fruit, Vegetable Glycerin, Glucose, Lactoperoxidase, Oxidase Glucose, Benzoic Acid
• Ingredients/Lavendar Rose: Deionized Water, Agar, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Xanthan Gum, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavendar), Rosa Damascena Flower, Glucose, Lactoperoxidase, Vegetable Glycerin, Glucose Oxidase, Benzoic Acid

Skindecent Elite Massage Candle

Knowing my penchant for peppermint, a very dear friend with a serious fetish for bath products gave me this Skindecent Elite Massage Candle to review. While not a "sex toy" per se, it is definitely a sensory indulgence.

A massage candle, you say? Does not compute. We're not talking about wax play here. We're talking about touch, about massage. While there is beeswax in this candle, it also contains soy oil and shea butter -- both of which are wonderful emollients. I thought the wax would leave a heavy film on my skin, but it really didn't. Yes, I could tell there was a thin layer there, but it just seemed to lock in the softness -- which is a definitely plus during the chapped skin season.

My candle was scented with peppermint/spearmint essential oils. When ordering, however, you can specify the desired fragrance. There are hundreds from which to choose. You can smell like a flower or like a decadent dessert or like a designer perfume. Personally, I prefer to smell like something edible.

Simply light the candle, and when it softens, scoop a little into your palm and rub on the body part in need of relaxation. (Note: I'm very sensitized to oils like peppermint and cinnamon. It you're not, do not put this on delicate tissue -- like labia. I don't recommend its use internally at all. This is NOT a lubricant for anything other than external massage.)

It felt absolutely divine while being rubbed into my skin. My masseuse said that he felt it went from too-hot liquid to too-solid too quickly, but I sure didn't notice that. The heat of the melted wax & oils worked a long day's stress from my back, and the tingle-chill of the mints provided a delicious contrast. The scent cleared my head, and I was blissfully off to sleep.

I feared the residue would leave a greasy stain on the sheets, but there was no evidence of such in the morning. My back, however, still felt wonderfully smooth and soft. Being the skin slut that I am, I'll definitely be checking out Skindecent's other products.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Dynamic Duo

A Toys for Tarts guest review:

From the first sight, I knew this wasn’t just an ordinary bullet duo. It’s cool green clear plastic controller with the two silver bullets has one thinking “alien probes” and all the fun those thoughts inspire. Loading up the toy with batteries, I dialed on the controller and the bullet leaped to command, a fun powerful vibration which had it dancing across my hand, bed and my partner’s chest. It sent a shiver of excitement through me as my partner dangled the bullet by the cord and watched it dance around my nipples. He then had the other sliding down to my pussy and had me squirming all over from the powerful vibrations. With one in my pussy and one swirling around my nipples, I was soon moaning in pleasure. The controller goes from a powerful vibe to a clit numbing sensation. The dial controls don’t give you a pulse option but the power is there to stimulate. This isn't a device you can use to wear to the office because the buzzing could have someone wondering what is happening.

~ One Lusty Wench

Here's what Babeland has to say about the Dynamic Duo:

Fighting with your partner over who gets to go first? Can’t decide whether you like a throbbing pulse or a rapid buzz? The Dynamic Duo swoops in and saves the day: separate variable-speed control dials mean you can tickle two erogenous zones at the same time, thrill to two different levels of sensation, or get off at the same time as your partner. And separate jacks mean the 37-1/2” cords stretch further, making it even easier to hit just the right spots.

• Size: Bullet: 2-1/4” x 1” controller: 3” x 5”
• Material: Silver plastic
• Batteries: Four AA

Butterfly Blogging

Several sex toy vendors are picking up the fundraising ball dropped by EdenFantasys and sponsoring benefits of some sort for Butterfly Temptress, who is battling cervical cancer. One of our absolute favorite stores, Babeland, is on board in a big way.

Toys for Tarts is one of several review sites that has agreed to donate its December Babeland affiliate revenues to the Butterfly Temptress to help defray her medical expenses. So, please do your holiday toy shopping through our links or the links of the other participants!

In addition, on January 1st, Toys for Tarts will have a drawing for the winner's choice of one of the following Babeland products:

• Elastomer Rabbit Habit Vibrator
  A new edition of the Vibratex Rabbit vibrator that was made famous on Sex and the City!
  We’re thrilled to be able to offer this latex-free edition of Vibratex’s famous Rabbit Habit vibrator. Functionally similar to the original Rabbit Habit, this model is sheathed in 100% premium Elastomer, a high-quality material that is both latex and phthalate free but still incredibly soft. The vibrating bunny portion of this model's updated design is angled closer to the shaft for more direct clit contact, and the famous pearls have been redesigned to rotate more consistently than the tumbling pearls of the original. While the glittery lavender shaft twirls for G-spot stimulation, the rabbit ears flutter along the clitoris and the "pearls" stimulate the sensitive opening of the vagina. Separate variable speed controls power each of the two components. The elastomer version of the classic Rabbit Habit is one of the Babeland All Stars!
  
  
• Pink Kink Kit
  Bondage beginner? You’ll find sugar and spice and everything naughty in our super-sexy, non-intimidating Pink Kink Kit, making bondage affordable, fashionable and very appealing. An innocent pink mesh bag holds a heart-emblazoned, comfortable leather blindfold, an adorable pink leather 11” whip with a teasing sting, and a snap-to-fit leather collar that reads SEXY (as if it weren’t obvious!). The blindfold is held in place with a comfortable, adjustable elastic band, and the whip includes a D-ring so you can dangle it anywhere. Pink and White leather. Comes in a reusable see-through gift bag.
  
  
• I Rub My Ducky
  Why won't Ernie get out of the bath? He's got the I Rub My Duckie vibrator! This floating friend's got more than just sweet blue eyes and an irresistible smile. Give Duckie a squeeze and suddenly you've got a vibrating pleasure pal who makes bath time lots more fun. Round head, pointed tail and nubby beak offer a variety of contact textures to choose from. Waterproof Duckie's vibrations are nearly silent, too, so he's discreet as he is adorable. Made of latex-free and phthalate-free PVC. Now has three modes of vibration!

To enter, simply make any purchase from Babeland between now & December 31, 2008 (midnight ET) and forward a copy of your order confirmation email to toys-for-tarts [at] eroticanthology [dot] com -- OR -- write a review (500 words minimum) of any Babeland product to be posted here on the Toys for Tarts blog & email it to toys-for-tarts [at] eroticanthology [dot] com.

peace & passion ... and Happy Holidays to y'all from the Toys for Tarts review team!

~ Alessia

Man's Ruin

When I ordered this DVD, I expected something different, and I sure as hell got it. This has to be the strangest porn flick I've ever seen. The title makes no sense whatsoever, since no one but the damsel in unconvincing distress is facing ruin -- lest you count all our immortal porn-consuming souls, I suppose.

Does it have a plot? Well, yeah. The protagonist -- played by Melodie Gore -- is sucked into a video game where she must rescue Go-Go from sexual torture (a la fucking machine wielded by a muttering dominatrix with a riding crop and a shock wand). In the process, she travels through five game venues featuring different sexual scenarios: a M/F medical-shaving-foot fetish scene with a semen-collecting squid (I kid you not); a disturbingly vanilla M/F tryst in "Satan's" lair; a F/F and F/F/F scene in a 70s nightclub that proved to be the most titillating (no pun intended) of the five, perhaps because it left the smeared lipstick & mascara "ravaged" look of the prior two scenes behind; an utterly forgettable M/F fuck that started out interestingly enough (with the woman in bridle and prancing like a pony) and ended with the typical cum-on-the-tramp-stamp money shot; and the finale F/F sadism in which Go-Go is smacked around, shocked, and motor-skewered by a modest-sized dildo until our heroine arrives to "save" her by simply... well, showing up. As damsels in distress go, Princess Toadstool had more spunk. Go-Go is a quivering, whimpering pile of skin & bones that evoked no sympathy from this viewer beyond wanting to provide her with a blanket and a sandwich.

Piercings and tattoos abound. The women are all attractive, but far from perfect (which is a plus in my book). The men have impressive physiques, but I commented on their muscular legs & abs more often than their equipment. Satan, especially, was a hard-working stud who looked rather fine when beaded with sweat.

The film aims for artsy with non-traditional music, strange lighting, heavy anime influences, and funky camera angles, but hits the humorous mark more often. (I mean, how often do corn dogs appear in porn flicks? Seriously.) If you want something to wank to, look elsewhere. If you want a few belly laughs, some odd (but far from extreme, once you excuse the squid) fetish play, and extreme close-ups of P-V penetration (no P-A) that go on and on and yawn, look no further. This is your flick.

When all was said and done, my partner -- who is a serious DVD collector -- said, "Who can we give this to?" I suppose, someday, it could become a cult classic, but until then, it's simply a novelty item.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland, who graciously provided the DVD for review, has to say:

Man's Ruin is an adult DVD for the porn specialist who is looking for a multi-player, multi-level game that's easy to beat, and beat off to! OK, so it's not really a video game, but it sure plays like one! Man's Ruin is a cinematic super-charged world of sexual deviancy, fetishism, and perversions--with alt porn star Melodie Gore as a superstar hero on a mission laden with sexual obstacles like tattooed ladies, hard cocks, and bondage devices. From front to back, you'll find Man's Ruin a fully artistic and explicit kinky film, complete with medical play, all-girl threesomes, sex and submission, and high-end fetish domination. Get out your joysticks!

• Company: Vivid
• Released: 2007
• Length: 113 minutes
• Director: Winkytiki
• Noteworthy Stars: Stoya, Justine Joli, Claire Adams

Hitachi Magic Wand

Heaven. Absolute heaven.

It's been my pleasure to review the Hitachi Magic Wand.

When I first removed the toy from the box, I was surprised at the seemingly innocent appearance and at the solid weight of the product. No cheap issue, this. It is in fact a marvelous deep muscle massager, easily able to deliver powerful but soothing vibrations to the entire body. The wand guarantees a relaxed recipient, whether you've been driving a moving van for thirty hours or building sets for a middle school play.

Phthalate free, it's a foot long instrument, twelve solid phallic-shaped inches loaded with teeth-clenching vibrations. The head is soft and flexible and measures 7 ½ inches around, slightly smaller than a tennis ball. There is a six foot power cord, 110-120 volts, with two settings. It is the strongest vibrator I've ever used.

After plugging it in and turning it to the highest setting, I applied the wand to the back of my neck, and then slipped it down between my shoulder blades. The relief was immediate, and it felt as if my entire body unclenched. I followed this up by testing it on my calves, my thighs, and even the soles of my feet. The vibrations tickled my feet but my leg muscles sighed with pleasure.

Undaunted and intrigued, and with growing sexual thoughts, I placed the buzzing head directly against my tender nipples. Zing! It was startling but absolutely amazing. I would have thought that the vibrations were too powerful to be enjoyed sexually but as it turns out, I was quite mistaken.

With a grin I centered the vibrating tool against my jean-clad crotch. Wow. The pleasurable sensations were acute and quickly traveled from navel to kneecaps. Thinking I should begin this sort of play at the lower setting I tried to turn the wand down. That's when I realized it was already on the lowest setting. It could only go higher. So I turned it up.

That was quickly followed by a bone-rattling, chair-gripping, seeing stars climax. Wow. It was a good thing no one else was home at the time.

Well, since the first test was such a success, ahem, my next thoughts were about variety and further experimentation. So, later that night my partner and I took the wand from the living room to the bedroom.

We started with teasing and body massage techniques. He loved it as much as I did and the groans from muscle relaxation soon gave way to sexual moans and sighs. It was certainly not too powerful on my sensitive bits, especially after arousal, but I can see where direct application may be too much for some.

We tried different positions and variations, but eventually settled for the tried and true rear entry. I held the wand easily in one hand, pressed it to myself and once we were engaged my partner felt the vibrations nearly as forcefully as I did. He is now a serious fan of vibrating toys.

We've since discovered there is an attachment that can be purchased for the wand called the Gee Whiz. It snaps on and allows users to focus on clitoris or G-spot. Delicious.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is an orgasm producer, no question. And as a matter of fact, our wand is still plugged in.

I highly recommend it and look forward to further playtime, I mean, experimentation.

~ Sarah Rose

Here's what Babeland, who graciously provided the product for review, had to say:

Known as "the Cadillac of Vibrators" and perhaps the world's most popular vibrating sex toy. Similar in look and feel to the Acuvibe, its strong vibration makes it an unfailing friend in masturbation, and its symmetrical shape makes it a natural for partnered, face-to-face fun. For penetration options, check out the Gee Whiz and the Deluxe G-spotter attachments. Runs on 110v power, cord is 6'1". Two speeds, spongy head; or replace with Off With Your Head. Hitachi is one of the Babeland All Stars!

This item cannot be shipped outside of North America.

• Size: 12"; head: 2-1/2" diameter
• Material: Vinyl and hard plastic
• Volume:
• Intensity:
• Batteries: Electric

Maverick

It is always a delight to make new acquaintances, and when one's friends get along famously, it can be very satisfying. Very. Satisfying. Maverick, the nubby, stretchy, reversible elastomer sleeve, took a shining to Woody, the suction-based glittery silver silicone dick as if they were meant to be together in some sort of erotic reproduction of Toy Story.

This is one versatile product! The fellas can use it with the nubbies on the inside -- slathered with lube -- while the ladies can turn it inside out and slip it on their fellas or their favorite toy for a little extra nubby goodness, either harnessed or hand-held. Nevermind that it looks like a curling iron attachment. It doesn't FEEL like one, and that's what counts.

Elastomer is a slightly porous, phthalate-free material that cannot be completely disinfected, so this product is not recommended for anal play. Wash with warm, soapy, anti-bacterial soap and stretch it around a lint-free towel to thoroughly dry the inside. Then, invert and store nubby-side out, since all those bumps could harbor moisture.

Until next time...

peace & passion,

~ Alessia

Here's what Babeland has to say:

After a long day’s work, come home and slip into something more comfortable—the tantalizing Maverick penis sleeve. The cushy, soft elastomer sleeve fits snugly on virtually anyone, while nubby tendrils lining the inside stroke every inch of your cock. And though it’s not what the Maverick was designed for, we liked turning it inside out—so the nubbies face out—and letting our partners enjoy extra stimulation during vaginal penetration. Blue elastomer. One stretchy size.

Bondage Tape

He said:

Man… This stuff can be used for a blindfold, bindings or a leash. Roll some of it up and tuck in your pocket for those unexpected public bondage opportunities. It really doesn't yank her hair or rip her skin, making it great for those times when you have that urge to tie her down and don't want to necessarily be nice about it. You can just tape her down and go to it. The thing I like best is that it seems to grip tighter the more she struggles! Gotta love that. And there's no pain when it's time to come off. You peel it off and roll it up to use again later.

She said:

Oh. My. God. This stuff is fantastic…. Finally a product that lives up to it promise. The pretty packaging says, "Wrap your lover up tonight. It’s bound to please you both." And it's most surely true. It doesn’' pull out your hair, stick to your belly button ring or tear your expensive thigh highs. I love the way it looks, too. The shiny black tape is so sexy against my skin.

The bottom line: The Fetish Fantasy Series, Pleasure Tape by Pipedream Products was exactly what the package promised it to be. How often can you say that these days? This stuff will become a favorite in the toy bag. There are much more elaborate ways to bind someone, but this tape works well, and looks good while it's doing it.

This product is highly recommended for those that are just starting to play with bondage as well as the experienced bondage lover. Its versatility would make it a very fun addition to almost any couples' sex life. Anyone can have fun with this tape.

~ Mari Freeman
marifreeman.com

~ ~ ~

Here's what Babeland had to say:

Bondage tape is a bondage enthusiast's dream! One roll contains 65' of reusable, uncoated 2" wide tape. It bonds, blindfolds, gags, and restrains using a unique self-cling property--no sticky glue! Easily and painlessly removed, it won't even stick to hair. Lightweight, quick, easy to use, and aesthetically pleasing in red or black, it's a must-have for your toy box no matter what level of play you are into. Bondage tape is also great for those on a budget, or who don't want to mess around with heavy equipment.